My butler's a ninja
by The Swordslinger
Summary: TWO-SHOT: What happens when a hyperactive blond boy befriends a blonde rich girl and decides to protect her? Why're you asking? Just read this story made out of mindless fun in which one Naruto Uzumaki's life changed for the weirdest when thrown into a new world, you know, the usual. Oh, and watch as he befriends and cares for Lucy as her knight in shining armor.
1. Chapter 1

I OWN NOTHING

This idea just kind of got into my head when seeing some cool ads for a pachinko machine, wrap your heads about which one.

 **Warning** : Don't expect much ground-breaking romance here or an award winning drama, I'm a guy who likes to write for fun and this is mindless fun. You've been warned.

 **XXXXXX**

"How did I get… here…?"

Looking around in the middle of a small park, a small child wondered those words himself. He just knew he got up somewhere, walked, and that he wore some rather baggy clothing far too big for himself. He had a tattered black and orange jacket fit for a teen, orange pants that he had to roll several times to not trip on them, and sandals twice the size he needed. He was just a small kid, and very confused.

"Hey." Someone said behind him, making him stiffen, "What're you doing wearing that?"

A little girl had spoken to him. Her hair was a shinier, clearer color than his, meaning she was blonde. Her eyes were wide and innocent. But what surprised him was the white dress she had. It was like every inch of it had to be decorated to fit a princess. Speaking of which, she may as well be. Everything about her screamed royalty, the way she moved and how pretty she was just said she was a princess.

He shrugged, "I don't know. Why're you dressed like that? Playing princess?" his retort made her giggle.

"You're silly, I like you." That got a red tint on his cheeks. "Want to play?"

His eyes lit up, "Wait, for real?" no one wanted to play with him as a kid, no one. Now a girl wanted to, and it quickly made him tense up, "Wait, are you going to prank me?"

Her eyes widened at the hostility of his voice, "Wh- no! No, I want to play, really!" she quickly looked behind before turning to him, "Please, can we play something? My dad may pick me up soon and-"

"Oh, sure." He said bluntly, not even noting her strange behavior.

Her smile nearly split her face, "Yay! Let's… oh… what do you want to play?"

He tilted his head to the side. All he had done in parks was to see kids play with others or their parents. He didn't know many games or what rules were regarding that. What could he and a cute girl play? His eyes scanned her dress, she really did look like a princess. Then he stared at his far too large outfit, the torn jacket looked more like a robe with sleeves way longer than necessary.

Small as his mind may be, he did have some imagination, "I can… be a wizard…" he said, flapping his sleeves before looking at her, pointing a finger at the girl, though it was covered by the sleeve touching the ground, "And you can be the princess I have to recue from…" he looked at a slide, his smile shining, "The evil dragon of steel!"

In a corner of the world, a towering dragon made of steel sneezed, getting his adoptive son to make a remark of how could the dragon sneeze if idiots didn't get sick according to a popular saying. The two got into a fight, but it didn't matter. In their own corner of the world, the boy was climbing the slide towards the princess, her hands waving.

"Help me, help me, brave wizard!" she fake cried, "I may fall into the dragon's maw!"

"I got you." He said, sitting behind her before both looked down the slide, grinning when they went down, "Princess, are you ok?"

She beamed, nodding, "Yes, now…" she looked at the swings, her smile brightening more, "Brave wizard, help me fly home by my side."

He grinned, "We shall fly to the moon!" he said and was about to race to the swings, but halted, "The… moon…" he grabbed his head, looking at the ground in confusion, "A rabbit…"

"Sir Wizard, will you push me?" the girl's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Oh yeah, sorry." He got behind the girl and did as told, shoving her forward. She grabbed the swing and giggled as she took off.

Getting on the one beside her, the boy waited for her to get down before swinging his legs back and forth, following the girl. As she swung her legs back and forth, she couldn't help but smile, "Hey… Today is… my birthday…" her cheeks gained an adorable pink hue, before she exclaimed, "Would you like to come as my first friend? Please, you're the first person I've played with now that I got out of my house! Will you?"

"I'm your friend…?" he asked, actually surprised by her words. She worried he may be displeased, but a huge grin spread on his face, "Sure! I've never had a friend before!"

Giggling, the girl spoke, "So, what's your name, Sir Wizard? Mine's Lucy."

"I'm Naruto." He said with a big smile.

The two kept playing until Lucy said she had to go home for her birthday before her father worried, but not without giving him some directions of how to see her. Unknown to them, though, a pair of eyes caught sight of the girl. In that instant, the onlooker recognized the girl for her features and expensive clothing. The boy, though, he didn't care about, for the girl was like a gold mine on legs.

Unaware of the dangers, and unable to contain the smile on his face as he waved off seeing the girl leave, Naruto felt at ease. Then his eyes turned to his large clothes. Seeing he had nothing else, the boy improvised by tearing the cloth, making it look like he had a ragged robe and very baggy pants. Considering the sandals were too big, he walked barefoot towards the girl's house, feeling like he'd have a good day.

Sometimes a day just started off badly, other days went badly as they progressed but started off nicely, for Lucy. Her day had been perfect otherwise. It was her birthday, and her father had gathered a massive party for her. The entire foundation was at its proverbial peak due to the massive influx of trade flowing through Fiore, so of course the party had been a gigantic affair.

Her father had actually hired mages to show off magic to her, the sights they displayed utterly amazed the young girl and made her heart burn with passion to learn magic too. The party itself was fun, she got to see a lot of pretty gifts, had the day all to herself, and most importantly… she was saving a slice of cake to share with her best friend Naruto.

The blond haired young boy had yet to appear, but there was an odd appeal of having him at her side like, appearing when she felt loneliest or missed his presence the most. She giggled, thinking that was what he'd be as a brave wizard after their little playdate. She still jokingly referred to him as Sir Wizard, although he didn't know a bit of magic, but she did know one thing, that he was the first boy to befriend her.

"You do seem happy, Lucy." Her father said, grooming his facial hair with one hand, "I was worried when the maids said they didn't find you. To play outside on such a day…"

The girl blushed, "I wanted to play with someone. I met a good friend, and I invited him over, can he…?"

Her father nodded, "Ah, your imaginary friends. I supposed he can join in… But in all honesty, you're growing too old to still have those. Besides, as a proper carrier of our family name, you will have plenty of people around in your future."

She felt tempted to say she didn't like the kind of people he was thinking about, but saved it, "He's real nice and played with me like I was a princess and he a brave wizard ready to protect me."

Her father pondered her words, "A bodyguard, huh…?" he chuckled, "Sounds like the kind of man you need around."

This day had been going so well, until one of the mages, a surly looking man with dark skin and a beard yelled out, "Party's over!" And slammed his palms into the floor, a gigantic blast of water shot up like a wave and drenched the party-goers in a surge of water.

Before Lucy realized what had happened she had been trapped inside of a bubble, thankfully it had air inside but as the young girl screamed for help and salvation, it seemed that nothing could be done. The man seemed to skate across the ground, ice flowing from his feet and allowing him free movement, easily dodging guards who were pounded back by jets of water or ice blocks.

The man kept her close via a tether of rope like water.

She saw the party and her mansion disappear rapidly, tears coming to her eyes as she screamed out who she truly wanted to save her, "N… Naruto… HELP!" She hated her weakness, hated having to rely on others and being a burden to them. Part of why she wished to learn magic was so she could protect her loved ones too and stand at their side as an equal, but she was only a kid and didn't know any spells just yet.

The second her tears hit the bubble, a blast of wind slammed into the man carrying her, a thin cut appeared over the bubble before it popped. Her body was caught in one arm, a deceivingly strong limb. Naruto had arrived in his usual style, unsubtle as ever. Her eyes looked completely relieved as the blond haired boy rose his hand up, a sharp kunai held on it as the evil mage got up slowly.

His eyes were soft when they looked at her and he asked, "You okay Princess Lucy?" he chuckled, "Sorry for being late to the party."

She sniffled and nodded cutely at him, her arms wrapping around his neck as she whispered back, "Now that you are… I know I am…" The makings of a crush were already forming in the girl's innocent heart, although the innocence of childhood still kept those feelings without anything more serious involved.

The mage growled, "Kid, you have any idea who you've got in your hands?! That girl is my one way ticket to an early retirement! I didn't knock out one of those performers to get out empty-handed!" summoning to large water bubbles, he threw them at the whiskered boy.

In an insane display of physical prowess, Naruto jumped over the bubbles and reared back his foot, "Too slow!" he shouted, kicking the mage right in the face with enough force to send him flat on his ass. "I don't know what jutsus you have, but I am not letting you take the princess away, not when it's her birthday!"

After setting down Lucy he pulled out another kunai, holding both short blades in an inverted grip… but the mage didn't get up, "Uh…" he groaned, seeing stars spinning over his eyes.

Naruto stared dumbfounded at the would-be kidnapper, "Did that… really knocked him out? Am I that strong or is he that weak?" he would have liked to hear it was the former.

"You…" the boy turned to see Lucy's father staring at him with stern eyes, freezing him. The anger in them was like when he went to the park at his village to play, when parents took their kids away to- "Thank you."

With his mind frozen, Naruto could only get out one word, "What?"

The man's eyes remained stone cold, "You are quite unusual, boy, for someone who just protected my daughter."

"Uh thanks, I guess." He ruffled his hair, "But I'm her friend, that's what friends do, right?"

A glint in the man's eyes should have been enough to tell Naruto of his intentions, "Would you be interested in working to keep her safe?"

Innocent as he was, he didn't know better, "Sure! I still have to finish my training at the ninja academy, but-"

"I'll get you proper teachers." The man said, eyeing the kid like a man in an auction, "After all, she could always use a friend like you."

Lucy beamed, "So I get to play with him?"

"Depends." The man said sternly, "Will you keep her safe, even with your life, boy?"

"You bet I will!" was the kid's reply, and from then his and Lucy's lives changes.

XXXXXX

Later, at night, the small boy was given clean pajamas and a queen-sized bed. At the time, such a thing had been a dream. When his eyes rested on it, he didn't waste a second to jump and start bouncing. Lucy watched it all with a soft giggle while her friend laughed loudly. However, the girl's father frowned at the boy's attitude and lack of manners.

"Boy, you will be protecting my daughter, so I expect you to keep your word on it by acting accordingly." The man said sternly.

Naruto stopped his bouncing and sat on the bed, "Oh, alright, sorry, sir."

The man gave him a nod, "And Lucy, while he may be your friend and you may want to play with him, do know I want him to keep you safe first and foremost. Boy, in any situation that she may be in danger, I want you to drop anything and keep your promise. To protect her no matter what."

"You don't have to be so bossy." The girl said with puffed cheeks, walking to Naruto, "Besides, he's my friend, and we can play, can't we?"

The man sighed but nodded, "I do expect you to be in bed in less than thirty minutes, young lady."

"I will." The small girl said. When her father left, she jumped on the bed, giggling joyfully as she bounced along Naruto, "I never thought I could do this with a bed!"

"I know, it's great, right?!" he cheered, joining on the bouncing before bowing midair, "So how may I serve you, Princess?"

Lucy grinned, "Close your eyes for a bit, ok?" Naruto nodded and stopped bouncing, with Lucy doing the same. She waited for him to keep his blue orbs closed and made sure he didn't peak, "Ok… Ta-dah!"

Naruto opened his eyes when feeling a weight on his head, before reaching up to grab the object and look at it, "Wow… it's cool!" he grinned at what he was given, a dark orange military cap with metal horns on the forehead.

Lucy grinned, "I picked it because they looked like cool fox ears." Only the mind of a little girl could make such a connection, "It's a bit big, but it'll probably last a lot. I know you're supposed to give me stuff for my birthday, but I just wanted to do something nice for you… You're my friend, the first friend I've been glad to have at a birthday."

Naruto stopped looking at the cap and turned to the blonde girl, "But why wouldn't you have friends? You're really nice, Lucy."

She nodded, "The friends I have are usually chosen by my dad… They're not… bad, but… they're not like you…" she gave him a small, if sad, smile, "You did play with me and helped me, you're the best friend ever."

He blushed, and returned the smile in earnest, "You're the best friend ever, too, Lucy!"

She beamed, happy to having met him, "Just so you know, I'll become a mage someday… And I'll be able to protect you like you did for me."

He gave her a cheeky grin, "I don't think you could, because I'm going to be so freaking cool and strong there won't be any way you'd need to fight for me."

She giggled and hugged him, "Don't be mean, I'm your princess and can fight."

He chuckled, "Sure, princess."

After some more games, Lucy went to get bathed and properly dressed for bed… while Naruto went to snoring in a split second.

Things are never that easy for the boy, as he soon found himself in a very creepy yet oddly familiar sewer, "Oh… Was it a dream…?" he sounded thoroughly disappointed, rubbing his head, "I mean… Figures, someone like Lucy existing and being my friend just can't happen, r-"

"Wrong." Said a voice, "And hello there, pipsqueak."

The boy looked around, but found no sign of the voice's owner, "H-Hello?"

"See, this is why I try to tell you your plans are stupid at times, even if they work… But here we are."

"Who are you? Are you my conscience?" the boy timidly asked, "I've been good, I think."

"More than good, kid." The voice said, "Too good for your own good, though… Anyway, name's Kurama, but you may call me sensei."

"Wait, what?" the kid asked, trying to find the source of the voice by running in the sewer, "Where are you, then?"

"It doesn't matter where I am… I'm a part of you." Kurama said, "Listen, you saw that girl's father. That man keeps her on a short leash. So, seeing how you care for her, I'll be nice. Think on this, do you want training to be beyond a Kage's level to keep your princess safe?"

Naruto stopped running, "What's the catch?" he asked seriously.

Kurama chuckled, "If there's ever an asshole that shows they don't want to change, don't hold anything back and pound them into bloody pulps. Sounds good?"

Naruto held up a clenched fist, "I promised I'd keep her safe, so count me in, sensei!"

The voice chuckled, "You never change, kid. That's what I like about you… to some degree. Anyway, expect big changes in your life…"

Little Naruto certainly didn't expect the kind of changes that'd have him face down in a dark forest in the middle of the night, wearing a black shinobi outfit and holding a bleeding forehead.

Before him, standing on a tree branch, was a shady figure clad in a similar outfit to conceal their face. A sharp katana rested on their back, and nothing but cold death could be seen in their eyes. That was a real ninja, a cold-hearted fighter.

"How is the boy doing?" Lucy's father asked as he walked into the forest, flanked by a few guards.

He merely stood up, wiped his face off blood, and pulled out his own kunais while the dark clothed figure spoke in a not too deep and not too high tone, making it hard to tell if it was male or female, "Just fine." The shady individual said while pulling out the katana from its sheath, holding it in both hands, "But you paid me to train him, and I expect you to trust me in that."

The man merely groomed his facial hair with one hand, "All I'm seeing is a boy taking a beating. I hired you so he could protect Lucy like a proper ninja would their master."

"And I will…" the little blond grumbled. Reaching into his outfit, he pulled out six kunais, holding them between his fingers and looking ready to fight, "Come on, I ain't falling down that easily!"

He watched the figure disappear in a blur of speed, reappearing right beside him with their sword drawn. With a yelp, Naruto crossed his own weapon like claws over his face, letting them take the strike. Instantly, he regretted his poor choice when the shinobi kicked him in the gut. Seeing the small boy rolling around, the well-dressed man in the forest was about to stop it, but couldn't.

Rather than give up, Naruto used the momentum to spring back to his feet and jump at his opponent, flinging several shuriken and kunais at them. The cold-eyed ninja merely swatted them aside with their sword, "Speed and ferocity won't do you much good without thinking twice."

Merely flicking down their wrist, the shinobi threw his sword at the small blond. Said kid backhanded the blade without caring that he got cut, and acted on instinct. He turned around and threw a kick backwards. The ninja saw the strike and jumped over it and the boy, getting some much needed distance. However, if one looked closely, they could see a deep gash on their shoulder.

"I can still fight." The blue eyed kid said, but the way he breathed and his knees wobbled said otherwise.

The ninja merely nodded, "And you have much to improve." They then turned to their employer, "None of us has been idle, as you can see. He learns far faster than any ninja I've seen. In a couple months he could make it as a Chuunin, perhaps even a Jounin. I actually consider it an honor to teach such a tenacious child in the ways of ninjutsu."

The two ninjas' employer nodded before turning his narrowed eyes to the blond, "Excellent. Naruto, I hope you keep improving. You may have saved Lucy once, but should any harm come to her again, I don't care whether they're guild master mages or even the council, I want you to stop them from harming her."

Said whiskered child nodded, "She's the first friend I've made, of course I will."

The man brought his hand again back to his facial hair, "However, your manners could still use some work. It won't be of much use if you protect her without proper etiquette. I hope you're taking your other classes seriously, otherwise you'd shame not only Lucy but this entire family if you misbehaved."

"S-Sure, I won't let anyone down!" the boy said, showing how eager he was for acceptance.

That eagerness, or rather that desperation for affection would mold him into a different man than he'd have been in another time.

XXXXXX

Time had passed, flowing in different directions thanks to the changes one life went through, even if he didn't know of them.

No Leaf existed, no Elemental Nations were mentioned in books, and no position like a Kage seemed to exist. Yet, there were ninja, and they could teach for a proper price.

To the unassuming passerby, the sight of a grown Naruto was bizarre. Standing tall in his early twenties, and with a lean, handsome whiskered face, he already called the attention. However, his hair was no longer spiky. He had let it grow into a thin ponytail that reached his mid-back. Atop his head rested a familiar and well-kept present given to him by a good-natured princess.

Following his experience as Sir Wizard, bodyguard extraordinaire, Naruto started to like wearing the cap she gave him. He also wore a gray long-sleeved coat which was opened to reveal an orange t-shirt under it, a pair of baggy navy blue pants, and black combat boots. If one looked closely they'd see he walked with confidence, not arrogance. And he managed to go unnoticed due to mages dressing weirder.

Speaking of time, the blond quickly looked at a nearby clock in the train station he had just arrived, "It's nearly tea time." He whispered to himself, turning his head left and then right, "So this is the kind of place she's been looking for, huh? Looking for those keys, though…"

"H-Hey stop!" his ears perked up, and he looked at a couple of men surrounding a woman, "I-I already paid you, so p-"

"Hey, hey, that's no way to thank one for doing such a good job, you know? You could go out on a date with me." Said one of the men, grinning.

"N-No! I already gave you the money you wanted! I-" the woman was silenced when the man closest to her slammed his fist on the wall behind her, cracking it.

"Come on, babe, or do you like your men a bit rougher?" the man, clearly a mage for he had used magic to break the wall, asked with a nasty smirk.

"Guess I have some time to kill." The blond said, cracking his knuckles.

Just as the mage was about to touch the lady, he stopped when his arm fell limp to his side, "Huh?" he gasped, looking at the needles sticking out of his shoulder which paralyzed his nerves with acupuncture.

"I'm not one to mince words, gentlemen." The blond said, walking to them with his hands behind his back, "A lady has to be treated like you would an equal: with respect."

The other men, also mages, growled at the blond while their comrade tried to remove the needles, only to yelp, "Who the fuck are you?!"

The whiskered man gave them a small smile while replying, "I am Naruto Uzumaki. I am a butler to the Heartfilia family, and loyal guard. I take care of the gardens, make tea, lend a friendly ear to those who need it, see to it they sleep in peace, and," he threw his arms to his side to show his hands holding six kunais, three in between each hand's fingers, after they popped out of his sleeves, "I mostly take care of the trash."

As one the mages charged at the blond. Merely letting them get close enough, the whiskered butler watched the first pull out a magic sword, swinging to cut his chest open. Merely sidestepping the charge, the blue eyed man swung his kunais like they were claws. It was an instant, but the instant he seemed to move his arms he just appeared behind the mages, his kunais out of view.

With a tired sigh, the butler grabbed his neck to crack a few joints in place, while the woman that had been harassed whispered in amazement, "How did-" her eyes widened when all the mages fell down, with large gashes on their chests. She covered her mouth with her hands at the sight, it was like a beast had attacked them but not with feral fury, but with finesse.

"They'll live." Naruto said while straightening his street outfit, dusting it with his cap, "You may want to call someone to take care of them, lady. Their manners are far too… poor."

Giving a warm smile, he left while the woman stared, "So handsome…" a blush spread on her cheeks, before she recalled she had to take care of the men that harassed her.

Our hero had other things in mind, "Hmm, casserole sounds lovely today." He mused as he looked at a bunch of ingredients, part of his duties to Lucy was also making her meals that suited her. She was extremely particular about what she ate now that she was getting in shape to become a mage.

Thankfully she understood that she had to eat healthy meals rather than diet and be weak without proper nutrition, it just made his job a little more interesting.

However, someone else had more in mind, "You're really wasting your time. Come on, you can't really let her marry that… guy."

Inwardly smiling, Naruto spoke to himself so silently he was sure no one could hear him, "If it so happens that her father's choice for a groom makes her sad, I'll take matters into my own hands, sensei."

The voice in his head chuckled deeply, "My piece of advice? Castration. Just two perfectly placed needles to pop his tiny balls. Who knows? With your aim you may even go through his tiny-" He was interrupted when Naruto hummed a cheerful song to tune out the details, a melody he had heard a brown haired beauty sing to her partner one time at the market.

"Hmhmh hmhmhm… Just a little wolf inside a girl you say… Whistle round the world…" His humming continued all the way to the Heartfilia Mansion, where he quickly changed into a more proper attire, a tuxedo complete with bow tie. Unfortunately, he had to hide the treasure the girl gave him. But the sadness disappeared when he walked in to find Lucy practicing with her magical keys.

She had taken some of her mother's old spell-keys, the ones she used to use for her summoning magic, and begun practicing with them. Already she was gaining surprising skill with them and showed an apt understanding of their use. More impressively, and what made him smile was her kind heart, she truly loved meeting new spirits and as a result befriended them rather than used them for her own purposes.

Looking at the grown Lucy proved to be more than any lesser man could take. With her mother's curvaceous figure, larger than life attributes, and kind friendly features she was delightful to look at. Not only that but there was a guilty pleasure in seeing how the fabric of her tops struggled to contain her chest. And too many had fallen at the hands of the long-sleeved butler for looking at the girl's behind.

"Thanks, Cancer." She told the large hair-stylist as he finished his latest work with her hair before disappearing, the crab themed man did enjoy his time doing her hair and it almost became a hobby of his.

"Lady Lucy." He called out to her, making her turn around with a bright smile at seeing him approach her.

"Naruto!" She leapt into his arms, laughing as he easily picked her up in one hand, the other hand holding a massive bag of groceries with utmost ease.

Once he set her down, he made his way to the kitchen, "How has your day been, milady?"

She looked to her side, letting him see a large set of clothes consisting of a white sleeveless blouse and a blue skirt, "I have given it enough thought, and there's no way I am going to marry that guy."

Naruto merely adjusted his cap, preventing a flash of red on his eyes to scare Lucy. "If it comes down to it, I can always make sure he never bothers you."

Lucy sighed, "Dad would still try to find some way to get me married in order to increase the fortune."

Putting his hands behind his back, Naruto smiled warmly at the girl, "If you are to go, wait for your meal. You will need all your strength."

She hugged her butler, his chin resting on her head while he returned the hug, "I promise I'll write you a letter as soon as I find a proper place to live. Then you can come and see me and-"

"Bring you anything you need?" he asked with a small smile.

Inside his head, he could hear a certain someone slap their face, "You had one chance and you blew it! Flirt, goddammit! Flirt!"

Professionally ignoring the voice, he asked, "I can always accompany you, so you won't have to worry if-"

She shook her head, "I'll be ok. I've got my mother's keys and I'll make sure to find a way to join that guild. Just promise me you'll be here to keep my father busy. I need your help so he doesn't find me to be that guy's bride. As soon as I can, I'll send you a letter for us to meet again."

"I'm sure I don't need to say this, but…" he held her by her shoulders, "Be careful, not because I care about you or am your friend, but because if they give you trouble I may kick my manners out the window."

"No need to worry, and you can drop your manners. I know dad wanted you to be like that, but I'm fine with you being my friend." She replied.

He smiled back, "I'm afraid I got used to the lessons. Now, cooking was fun since I actually learned how to eat more than ramen. The different kinds of forks and knives, though, are lessons I could've ignored."

"Agreed." She said with a sigh before hugging him, "Don't worry for me. I'll find a great guild and become a mage to make you proud, Sir Wizard."

"And I'll be there by your side when you need me, Princess." He said with a bow.

XXXXXX

"Are there still no news regarding my daughter?" Lucy's father asked in his large office while his ponytailed butler served him tea.

"I'm afraid not, sir." The blond lied the best he could, "Any letters that do arrive from her to me never give any details of her exact address, and she makes sure to avoid anyone that could follow her."

The old man sipped his tea to try to calm his nerves, "If she were in trouble, not only would our name lose value, but she'd never be able to marry a good man. She deserves someone of high status, Naruto. I didn't choose her a man just because of his money, but because our family can move forward. She would live an incredible life, and our monetary trouble would cease to be."

Naruto closed his eyes, "Whatever happens to her, do know I will look after her."

The man sneered, "I just can't believe she'd have drugged you! Using some odorless, tasteless drug to fool you like that…"

Naruto kept his eyes closed, not daring look the man in the eye in case he could figure out that he let Lucy escape, "I'm just as surprised, sir. Then again, she is your daughter. That wit must have come from both you and her mother."

The Heartfilia patriarch sighed deeply, "Such a good woman she was… To think everything that I've built for her and Lucy would mean nothing against such a childish dream, a dream that could cost her very life."

"Make sure to add that in your next letter." Said a certain voice in the butler's head, "How he worries about building money by using her."

"Sir, if anything happens I'll be the first man to contact Lady Lucy and bring her to safety." The blond actually meant he wanted to see her, badly.

His boss had other ideas, though, "No… I've spent enough money, and sending you against a legal guild would make me look like a desperate tyrant. No, I can't have people think I'd risk anyone related to me. I can throw away those that are foolish and worthless, but making you fight a guild to get her back would mean trouble, even with delinquents like those mages."

"You could blame it all on me." Naruto offered, hoping his suggestion would work.

It did work, giving the man an idea, "Naruto… You do know there's a guild she wants to be in, Fairy Tail, right…? Do tell me, are there any rivals that'd be able to deal with them?"

"I'm afraid I don't follow you, sir." He did, but he didn't like how it sounded.

"I want mages capable of dealing with Fairy Tail to bring back my daughter, whether she wants to come or not." The man said, getting up, "I'll contact them immediately, and you won't take any risks. That way, when I marry Lucy, you can keep working for her and show what kind of men work for this family."

Naruto heard a sigh in his head when his boss left, "So… You're going, aren't you?"

The blond loosened his bow tie, "He can consider it my resignation letter."

And so, with his street clothes on, a duffel bag over his shoulders, and his destination clear, Naruto made his way to see Lucy once again. After leaving a letter to his now former boss, using the money he had been saving from working for the Heartfilia family, and getting a decent ride with a scooter, he arrived.

Bizarre was what best described the place of his arrival when he dismounted the bike he bought. Just when he parked the scooter, he looked in the building to see mages fighting left and right over petty things, a brunette drinking heavily, and a white haired barmaid giggling at the sight.

"It's… something…" Kurama told him.

"If she's been living here, I'll forget every lesson about proper conversations if I hear she's been hurt in a bar fight." The blond said, tilting his cap down before making his way in, his other hand slinging his duffel bag over his shoulder, "Excuse me, lady…" he spoke to the barmaid, "Have you seen a cute blonde girl a few years younger than me? She has neck length hair, is a spirit mage, and I worry for her."

The barmaid hummed, the topknot ponytail over her forehead tilting to the side as she thought on his question, "I'm afraid you haven't introduced yourself, so I can't say if you're looking for help or trouble."

"My apologies." Those lessons in manners did pay off, as he bowed to the woman, "I am Naruto Uzumaki. I'm a friend of Lucy Heartfilia and I'm worried about her. I think she may be in dang-"

"Danger?" said a large man built like a brick house with a growl, "Only danger I see is a man who isn't man enough to say things without being direct about them! If you're a man, say it out loud and clear!"

Naruto swatted away the large man's hand, "Please don't touch me, and I'm being serious, but I don't want to say more than what's needed. So, have you seen Lucy or not, lady?"

The barmaid crossed her arms under her breasts, giving him a sterner look, "While my brother may have been rude, I'm afraid he has a point. For all I know the danger could be you."

Naruto scratched his cheek, and a bit of his old self surfaced, his blunt side, "If that's your brother I'd hate to meet your father."

"Talking shit?!" the man shouted, rearing back his right arm which turned into that of a monster's, "Get hit!" Everyone in the bar watched the enormous man punch the blond so hard his body split in half… that was until they realized the man had hit a log. When the wood fell on the ground, the entire guild turned to see the butler leaning on the counter, reading the menu.

"If you want a fight, I can give you worse than you could ever think I'm capable of." Naruto said, putting down the menu on the counter, "So let me say this, if I wanted to, I could have knocked you flat. That is not a threat, but a fact. Now, can you believe I don't want any trouble, or will you try to fight me?" here his eyes glowed for a second, "I'll warn you, I don't play nice."

"Are you really strong?" asked a new guild member, this one being a boy with an open vest, a white muffler, and baggy white pants with a wild pink hairdo.

Not even a second glance was needed to know the pink boy wanted to fight, "I can show you how strong if you tell me where Lucy is."

"Hah, is that right?" asked a voice from above, standing over the rails of a balcony on the second floor, showing a blond man with short hair, headphones, and a scar across one eye, and a thick musculature, "Are you implying this guild is so weak even a random punk like you can take us out? Well, I'd be happy to see you do that. That way we could kick out those who can't fight worth shit."

Seeing the mages around him glaring at the bulkier blond, and how even the barmaid frowned at his words, the butler spoke, "How about I take you on, big guy?"

The taller blond smirked, "Are you kidding or are you in a hurry to meet the reaper?"

Naruto swiped his thumb across his nose like he had seen some warriors do in some of Lucy's adventure books, "All I've done is hear you yapping. If you're not going to do more than that, what good are you when a punk like me is messing with your guild?"

The heavy drinking brunette put down a large barrel of booze, smirking, "Damn… I think I like Ponytail now."

Jumping down, the headphones wearing man growled, "What's your hurry? Because if you want a quick death, you've come to the right guy."

"You're still talking." Naruto pointed out, before his body disappeared in a blur of speed, a fist impacting on the counter and smashing the part he had been leaning on.

The taller blond growled, looking around, "Where is he?! Show yourself, you lit-" a tight grip on his ankle stopped him from talking and made him look down to a hand that popped from the ground. In a cloud of dust, the mages saw something they never would have imagined. Their fellow guild member was buried neck deep on the floor with his head sticking out, while the whiskered blond sat on a stool at the counter.

"Can you tell me where Lucy is, or does someone else wants to join him?" he asked the entire guild while turning to face them, tilting his cap up to look at them… and then widening his eyes when sparks flew.

Cursing would have to wait, for when he saw electricity before his eyes Naruto's body reacted and he rolled backwards, landing on the other side of the counter when a bolt of lightning missed him. The currently very furious scarred man was up, grinding his teeth, and looking ready to murder. The young butler replied by casually placing his hands behind his back, using the sleeves' length to hide the needles in his hands.

"You think this is funny, to just look down on me when you don't know what I can do?!" the mage snapped.

Naruto smirked, "Actually, I do. Seeing faces like yours, or even picturing them, when I make some arrogant spoiled brat mad does make my day a whole lot better." With a flash of lightning, the much bigger of the two fighters had appeared before the butler and tried to crush him down with a punch, "Behind you."

Hearing the voice from the guy he was supposed to be punching, the lightning user turned to find where it came from, seeing that before he could even blink the shorter fighter had moved behind him. Whipping his body around to try to face the whiskered young man, the angry mage ground his teeth and tried to punch him again. This time, his entire arm was covered in needles, paralyzing every single nerve.

"How did-" the guild member started, only to find a palm on his limp arm's shoulder.

"May I offer you a drink?" Naruto asked, carrying a tray with drinks in one hand.

The mage tried to backhand him with his own working hand, but once again Naruto was gone, "You little shit, stop running around!"

"Perhaps you're tired." Naruto said beside the man, handing him a towel while bowing politely.

"You think you can take me?!" the mage screamed, trying to once again hit the blond with only one arm but, you guessed it, missing him once again. This kept repeating itself while the angry blond hit nothing but air, not even being capable of finding how the smaller fighter evaded him so easily. It was exactly what Naruto waited for when he saw the scarred man panting long and hard to get air in his lungs.

"Will you tell me where Lucy is, or will you keep menacing the air?" the blond asked with a cheeky grin, tracing the trim of his cap with a finger.

"Why do you want to see that weak bitch?!" the livid mage shouted, trying to once again to hit the butler.

"What… did you call her?" Naruto asked with a dark, deep voice, turning around to face the mage.

"Laxus!" the barmaid shouted, clearly angry at his choice of words, but that anger died and was replaced with awe when the newcomer caught the angry mage's fist.

"You idiot, I'll fry you!" Laxus roared, unleashing a good million volts on Naruto… only to see no result, "What?!"

"Lightning won't work on someone that can cut it." The blond pulled back a fist, highly condensed blue energy swirling around it, "Let me teach you something I've mastered thanks to meeting that girl."

Laxus roared trying to kick the blond, "Stop thinking you're hot shit just because of that bitch!" he was shocked yet again when Naruto swatted aside his leg by backhanding it, stepping close to him.

"This is something I learned to protect my lady, the Spiral Fist… Rasenken!"

The energy in his fist took form, creating an orb of bright blue spiraling energy around the butler's hand. When the whiskered blond punched the lightning mage, no soul expected the results seen before them. As the name implied, the Spiral Fist, or Rasenken, was a punch. When it hit Laxus square on the chest, though, it became an explosion. Raw energy swirled all over the large mage in a far larger orb of destruction.

Every Fairy Tail member watched their comrade fly off and crash through a wall, while the butler merely turned to them with a frown on his face, "Who the Hell's this guy?! He beat Laxus with a single punch!" exclaimed a lion-like mage who looked like a typical playboy.

Naruto flexed his fingers, "If this is how one of your own will talk to Lucy, I've seen enough. I'll find her myself." He took his bag and was ready to go, but found his path blocked by a red haired woman. A long mane of crimson hair, an armored top the likes of a knight's armor, and a blue skirt made an odd contrast to show both feminine charm and strength. Though her body was just as curvaceous as the other girls he's seen.

"I apologize for Laxus, he is a lone wolf." The woman said firmly, "Please, don't let your opinion of this guild be tainted by his opinions. And I can assure you that Lucy is safe and we care for her as a friend."

Naruto tilted up his cap to look at the redhead, "It's not about whether I believe you or not, it's about me finding a dear friend. If you'll excuse me, I'll go look for her, should I not find her I'll come by another time."

"Wait!" the pink haired mage from before said, grinning at him, "Your name's Naruto, right? Fight me!"

Naruto swiftly replied with a, "Not interested." He turned to leave, "I only fought that Laxus guy because he was itching to try to shut me up, and I only hit him because he badmouthed Lucy. So far I have no reason to fight with you, and I shouldn't have been that flashy in my fight."

"Come on, just fight me!" the hot-headed boy shouted, eager to have a go. "I don't know what magic you used, but I want to see more of it!"

Naruto chuckled, "It's not magic, though it may look like it. As for what you saw me do, that's a technique I improvised once when training. You haven't even seen half of what I can do." Then he turned to the red haired woman, "Anyway, do me a favor and tell Lucy that some guy named Naruto is looking for her, lady. I'll be back in an hour or two to see if she has arrived."

"My name is Erza Scarlet." the redhead said before, much to Naruto's surprise, punching the pink haired boy out cold when the battle hungry lad was about to ask for a fight again, "Sorry about Natsu, too."

"Don't worry, Lady Scarlet, I'll take your words and the fact you don't want to fight me as good faith in me." The blond said, walking off and waving over his shoulder, "Take care."

"You too." Erza said, shoving the unconscious Natsu into a chair with no effort. "But do know, we won't hold this against you since Laxus shouldn't have reacted the way he did. Next time you try to pick up a fight, it'll be a different story."

"Dully noted." Naruto said before mounting his scooter and driving off.

As the guild's members watched him leave a small elderly man spoke from the balcony the lightning user had been on, "Naruto, huh? Whatever he used really is no magic. What could he possibly be?"

XXXXXX

"Erza Scarlet, huh?" Naruto asked himself while driving through the streets, "Feels like I've seen someone like her before… with that hair and attitude it's almost like I met her already…"

His sensei chuckled, "You could try to know her well, then."

The blond smiled, "Some other time I may ask her out. I have to find my princess." He was about to speed up, but instead pulled the breaks of his scooter, screeching to a halt.

The reason? Out the corner of his eyes he saw a petite girl with feathery blue hair running in a hurry. It wouldn't have been worrying if it was a jog, but she was bruised. What was even worse, he could see a large man with long, wild spiky black hair chasing after her with a maniacal grin. He could see his intentions even clearer when driving after them and seeing two bloody, beaten up men getting.

"Ah… Ah!" one of them tried to form words, before snapping back to attention when seeing the concern in the whiskered man's face, "We're fine! Don't worry about us, save Levy!"

"Right!" Naruto said, speeding off after the man and the girl, gritting his teeth, "Who are these guys? Are they from a dark guild or do they have some stupid grudge against these Fairy Tail mages?" he had seen the tattoos in the girl and the men, they were from Fairy Tail. It was the guy chasing the girl that worried him greatly.

When he found them, he felt the sight before him was beyond words, "Please, stop…" the girl begged, tears in her eyes while her back was pressed against a wall before sliding down as she curled into a ball.

The far larger mage barked in laughter, "You think I can let some prey like you just slither around like the worm you are?! I'm here to fight you Fairy Tail bastards regardless of what the boss says. If it means taking you out, then I better make your guild understand how weak they are by using you as an example."

The wild haired mage stopped his advances when hearing someone cracking his knuckles, "You know? I like it when I find guys like you. It doesn't matter how far I go, I just can't feel bad for teaching you a lesson."

"Huh… I think I've heard of you…" the large mage said, before grinning, "Now I remember, you're the punk that beat some of our guys at the station. Good, I can kill two birds with one stone once I nail this weakling and her friends for all Fairy Tail to see."

Naruto got off his bike and started running at him, "And you just had to sour my mood!" he roared, extending his hands to his sides to pull out a good dozen needles in each hand.

With lighting fast swings of his hands, the butler had thrown every projectile straight at the wild haired mage's every nerve. He hoped to see him paralyzed, but watched the larger man grin as his entire body turned into solid steel, causing every needle to bounce off! Not only that, but the guy had the skills and power to just open his mouth and chew the needles, swallowing the steel throwing weapons like candy.

"You just made my day a lot better, punk!" the muscular mage cheered, "I get to kill you and eat! So come on, try and give me your best shot! Come on, try and hit me with all you have!" he extended his arms to his side, "I'll give you the chance so long as you think you can win."

He saw the blond pulling back his right fist, where azure energy burst from his hand, making the air ripple, "You asked for it, then." The blond said in a dead serious voice.

"Just try your luck!" the mage said with a massive grin, pulling back his arm as it turned into a large blade.

"Odama…" Naruto started, stomping his foot on the ground as he brought his fist towards his opponent, "Rasenken!"

Instead of hitting the man, Naruto thrust his fist forward and hit the air. The wild haired male watched the air ripple, followed by an explosion of blue energy! Purified chakra exploded from Naruto's fist in the form of a typhoon, knocking the crooked mage high into the sky. After bringing down his arm, the blond turned to the petite blue haired girl, who was awed beyond belief at what she just saw the butler do.

"W... Where did you learn that…?" the man asked after hitting the floor, trying to get back on shaky legs.

Deciding to taunt him, Naruto crossed his arms over his chest, his arms in the sleeves, "I could answer you, but I'll give you the chance to try to hit me." He grinned like the cheeky fox he was.

Growling, the steel mage turned his right arm into a large chainsaw which sliced the air as he raced to cut the blond in two. Instantly, just when he was within range, Naruto jumped over the swing and flipped himself over the mage, putting a hand on the steel user's shoulder for support before landing behind him. Howling with rage, the wild haired man tried to hit Naruto again, but it was too late.

His body went limp when he felt countless pinches on his back from needles infused with wind to pierce through his thick skin.

Naruto adjusted his sleeves with a frown, casually observing the mage resting flat on his face, "If the master has hired these guys I better get to Lucy as soon as possible…"

"Lucy?" the girl said in surprise.

"Do you know her?" he asked while walking to her, offering her a hand to help her up.

The petite girl nodded, accepting his hand, "She's my friend… If she's in trouble, I want to help her. But my friends, are-"

"They're pretty roughed up, but they should be fine if you get them to a hospital, miss…"

"Oh, I'm Levy. And thank you." She even bowed to him, "If you're looking for Lucy I can take you to her, but-"

"I'll do that after getting your friends to a hospital." He said, knowing what she was bound to say.

Levy gave him a grateful smile, "Thank you, mister."

He snickered, "Come on, I'm not that old. And the name's Naruto."

Levy's smile turned bashful, "Alright, Naruto. And thank you, really."

XXXXXX

Soon Levy brought Naruto to a decent apartment building where Lucy was supposed to live in after they hospitalized her friends. He did smile when seeing a few places she mentioned in her letters when he got close enough. She didn't give any details that may have given away her location, but he did get what places she talked about when seeing a restaurant with awesome flans.

Upon arriving to the door, Naruto was ready to knock, but his body tensed, "What's wrong?" Levy asked, growing worried, "Did those mages get ahead of us and-"

Naruto didn't give her an answer, he just opened the door which was unlocked. Frowning, he walked in with his fists up, and waited for anything, anything but a yell of, "Surprise!" from a certain pink haired boy now identified as Natsu.

Reacting on instincts, Naruto spun around, grabbed the boy before the pink haired mage could try to do anything, and with a firm grip he had the Fairy Tail mage on the ground face down, "How did you get in here?" Naruto asked, showing in his tone that he wanted a straight answer, "And where's Lucy?"

"D-Dammit, too fast…" Natsu groaned, before yelping when Naruto applied pressure on his hold, "Hey, let me go, I always walk in here!"

Naruto growled, "So you're the one that's always breaking into Lucy's apartment whenever you want to." He got up while also lifting Natsu, letting him go once both were up, "Talk now, where's Lucy?"

Natsu groaned while cracking a few vertebrae into place, "I got no idea. I just came in to get some food and a quick nap."

The blond slapped his own face, "Levy, does he do this often?"

"Enough so that Lucy isn't sure whether to be mad or used about it." The blue haired girl admitted with a meek grin, hoping Naruto wouldn't pummel her fellow guild member.

"It's not that bad, she usually just settles down and doesn't mind." Said a bipedal blue cat eating one of Lucy's flans.

"Can you two be any more shameless?!" Naruto snapped, he was tempted to roll up his sleeves and just… actually, he may as well, "Since I'm here, I guess I ought to kick you out."

Natsu and the cat frowned at that, "Hey, what gives you the right to say such a thing?" the former asked, trying to get on the butler's face but realizing the ponytailed male was half a foot taller.

"What gives you the right to enter Lucy's home without her permission? As for me, I'm her butler and her family's bodyguard." The blond said, stepping towards the pink mage, "That alone gives me plenty of reason to kick out anyone who'd pester her."

Natsu grinned, his right hand erupting with fire, "Sounds like you really want a fight. Well, I ain't going to decline."

"Aye-aye, beat him good, Natsu!" the cat said, perched on the pink boy's back.

Naruto's eyes narrowed, and he could hear his sensei groaning, "Dammit, it had to be fire, huh? Unlike the buff guys from before, this kid has the advantage. Get close and personal to kick his dumb ass out."

Tracing a finger over the trim of his cap, Naruto smirked, "I won't need to worry much, this place won't even get a scratch when I'm done." He held up his right fist, pure blue energy swirling around it like azure fire, "It's always the ones that bark the most that tend to get beat up the worst."

"Hey! What are all you doing in my… Naruto?!" An upset female voice interrupted the fight before it even got started, as a beautiful young blonde girl wearing a nice summer dress walked in, behind her a massive cow-man was carrying a huge load of groceries. Her eyes took in the sight until she saw her butler smiling now.

Rushing into his arms with a laugh, her summer hat fell to the floor as she embraced the taller male blond, tears coming to her eyes as she inhaled his strong scent after such a long time away from him, "Oh my…" Levy said, feeling admittedly jealous of the show of affection between the two.

"I'm so glad you came to see me! Did Dad send you? Or did you come here on your own? I swear, I've been eating well without you, I'm not on that silly diet nonsense where I don't eat much." Lucy said and asked all in one excited breath, her smile growing widely as she saw Naruto shake his head out.

"Of course not. I came to see you on my own accord, I'd see you even if I was ordered never to talk to you in my life. After all, I'm your exclusive butler, Princess Lucy." He said with a smile, warmly embracing her.

"Wait, you really know each other?" the pink haired boy asked, though frowning at the butler.

"Yeah, I've known him since we were kids." Lucy said before stepping back, "What are you doing here if Dad didn't send you, then?"

"He's sent someone," Naruto said, "and they're not the friendly type." He turned to Levy when he said that.

It took some explanations to get everyone to understand what was going on and why.

When explanations ended, and the cow man put down the groceries and disappeared, Natsu was furious, "Those Phantom Lord bastards will pay!" he slammed his fist into his palm, fire erupting from his hands.

Naruto leaned on the sofa, growling, "I'm afraid I have to agree there. Seeing what they almost did to get to you there's no way I can stay idle, or take you back when your father-"

"No, Naruto, you should head back." Lucy said, looking down, "If this is because of my father, no one should be involved on this."

"He will try to marry you regardless of what you do, and things aren't that easy. He's desperate." Naruto sighed at the end, "I even handed him my resignation letter before things took a turn for the worst."

"I have to talk to him, regardless." The girl looked down, "Fairy Tail shouldn't get into this kind of danger just because of him, because of me. I never thought he'd do this, I figured he'd send you." She turned to her butler and best friend, "Naruto… since you're not my butler anymore, I want to ask this as a friend. Let me talk to my father alone, but keep Phantom Lord from harming anyone because of me."

"He will not change his mind easily." The butler warned her.

"I will change it, no matter what." She said firmly, "You know me, even if I have to renounce to my name… I will fix this. But can I still count on you?"

"You're asking me to fight one of the top guilds in this country, Princess." Naruto said, getting up as a smile spread on his face, "As a friend, you could have asked me to fight the entire world for a piece of candy."

"Wait, this is a fight between our guild and theirs!" Natsu said, "They attacked two of our own and almost did worse to Levy, we can't sit this one out!"

"But a fight between guilds would give the council ammo to use against Fairy Tail." Lucy said, "Besides, I know Naruto. He's strong, far stronger than you could ever imagine. If he fights, Fairy Tail won't be in trouble, and he will win."

"We should still kick their asses, they asked for it!" Natsu growled.

Lucy shook her head, "It's my fault, and this is the only way I can fix it. Naruto, I can't thank you enough, or say how much I'm sorry for asking you to do this, but you're really the only guy I know who could do it."

Naruto grinned, "Putting that much faith in me, I just can't sit this one out either. Don't worry, Princess, I'll hold the fort while you deal with your father."

His princess gave him a warm smile, more than enough motivation for him to win.

XXXXXX

Once he set himself for what would be one crazy battle by grabbing a small chair and sitting in front of Phantom Lord's guild, Naruto waited for someone to notice him from inside the building. Any passerby would look at him weirdly for sitting in the middle of the street with an ankle resting on his knee, his head down, and the slow movement of his chest to indicate he was breathing but not sleeping.

His patience rewarded him when a single member of the guild walked out, and took notice of him, "The Hell are you doing here, you piss stain?" he asked cockily while approaching the blond, "Do you think you can just come here like some beggar and ask for-"

Naruto grinned widely as he got off his chair and approached a recently appeared hole on the ground in which the mage fell, "Sorry about that, I couldn't hear you. You see, I wanted so badly for one of you guys to come here I must have tuned you out while you walked into my trap. Admittedly, I wanted a highly ranked one, but…" here the blond unzipped his pants, "…nature calls."

The cries and protests of the mage currently getting a very unpleasant shower alerted the mages in the guild, and they came out just in time to see Naruto fully zipping up his pants, "Heh, I remember when you did that to the punk at the orphanage who kept stealing your food. Felt a bit nostalgic there?" his sensei observed before chuckling at his answer.

"I feel like I'm trying to win the lottery here." Naruto told the mages while also answering Kurama, "Just me against so many with all the odds against me, yet I still feel lucky."

As he said that, rain started pouring around him, and he could see some very extravagant mages, including the one he stopped from harming Levy any further. They had to be the elite, and he could only guess their leader was inside. But first, he had to get through the pawns to get to the king like in a good game of chess. Knowing that, he took a deep breath and expanded his senses.

"You…" the wild haired man growled, "Good, I wanted to see you to pay you back for running off with that little bitch."

"Funny, I was under the impression that's how you got dates." Naruto said cheekily, tilting down his cap to cover his eyes, before growling too, "But this is where the joke ends. Try and insult Lucy's friend again in front of me, and I'll shove some manners down your throat."

"After him!" one of the grunts yelled, with every single low-ranking mage running at the butler.

However, four stood behind due to knowing there was something up, and they were right. In a split second, every runt in Phantom Lord had tried to avoid the hole in which the first one fell… only to land in even more holes surrounding the blond, all of them filled with different traps. Ever since he was a kid, Naruto was a great prankster, so several holes were linked to the sewers and made so it was not easy to climb out.

Soon it was just Naruto and the five mages that were very likely the elite members, including the wild-haired one that attacked Levy. There was also a towering man with a top hat, some odd man with a monocle, a guy in a red shinobi outfit, and a lovely looking blue haired woman with a personal cloud covering everything around her with rain.

A conveniently timed tumbleweed passed between them in a part of the street unaffected by rain while the blond walked to them, rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, and cracked his knuckles, "So…" the whiskered butler started with a nonchalant smile, "Who gets to try to kick my ass first?"

In a split second, the one that could be confused for a shinobi of his village dashed right at him with a katana. Naruto blocked the blade with a kunai and a smirk, even dodging a punch covered in blue fire which put him on his toes. However, his eyes widened when feeling the ground shift beneath his feet and jumped back, flipping his body in the air to avoid rocks shooting from the ground by the monocle wearing man's magic.

Midair he was face to face with the top hat wearing mage whose eyes were covered by a cloth, his right palm up, "Zetsu!" he shouted, creating several explosions in the space around Naruto with air magic!

"And down you go!" the girl said, creating a serpent of boiling hot water to devour and drown the butler.

All four mages were happy with their handiwork and even heard clapping… coming from the blond man on a corner of the streets, "I'm not even going to pretend to be smart, I'm having fun making a fool out of you." Naruto said with a cheeky grin as he leaned on a wall.

The four mages turned to what they thought had been the butler, only to see a log in the boiling water. They turned to the blond once again, only to see him gone and squatting on a rooftop, grinning at them.

"You shall not escape, punk!" the man with the top hat shouted, teleporting behind Naruto and placing his head between his opened palms, "Met-"

"Too slow!" Naruto shouted as he brought up his right foot, kicking the much larger man right in the jaw and sending him flying back.

Upon lowering his foot, he pulled down the trim of his hat to hide his currently yellow eyes. He didn't have time to do much else when the man with the monocle sprung out of the ground with a dozen rocky spikes about to turn him into Swiss cheese. Naruto disappeared in a golden flash, reappearing behind the suited mage and kicking him on the back of the head down an alley.

The other three had also arrived with a chainsaw arm missing him when he leaned back, a katana being kicked out of the user's hand and water tendrils catching nothing but another log in the span of a second. It was then that the best of the best of Phantom Lord could see it when Naruto appeared on top of a chimney with his cheeky grin still in place. He wasn't even taking them seriously; he was playing around.

And this, his sensei knew, "Good, you're getting them angry. Time for part two."

Naruto gave the Phantom Lord mages a two-fingered salute and leapt down into an alley. After regaining consciousness or simply realizing what just happened, the crooked mages followed the butler. But, as any self-respecting Uzumaki, Naruto wouldn't make it easy for them. Mentally laughing at what he had planned in store, he put his hands in his favorite seal and let the mages fall for his trap.

The one with the top hat watched a blur out of the corner of his eye and went after it. A shadow passed behind the man with the monocle, who sunk into the ground to follow it. The fire and steel users ran into different alleys when catching glimpses of an orange hat and a cheeky grin respectively. And last but not least, the blue haired girl saw an unmistakable figure dancing in her rain with an umbrella in hand.

Unfortunately for them, none had any idea that the real blond was just walking into their guild while they chased after his clones, "So, Jose Porla… Guy's got an awful taste in décor."

Then he casually dodged a grim-reaper looking creature made of shadows trying to claw his face off and looked at the one who created it. Jose was what you'd expect when looking for the word villain in a dictionary. He had the evil thing mustache, smug look on his face, and a horrible haircut. Not to mention his fashion sense, which included a pointy hat, made Fairy Tail look subtle, and one of them was practically a stripper.

"You're the one playing with my troops?" Jose scoffed, "I should have used my Shade magic from the start."

Naruto pulled down the brim of his hat to speak calmly, "I've come to terminate your contract with the Heartfilia family and to keep you from harming anything my princess cherishes." He smiled warmly at the man, "Of course, I'll give you a fighting chance. You can let go of whatever grudge you hold or have me force you to eat that contract."

Jose snarled, "You think I'll forgive everything you've done?!" he screamed, "You think I'll let this slide easily after trying to humiliate me and defend that guild just for a single bitch?!"

And thus Naruto stopped smiling, cracked his knuckles, and had his eyes glowing read, "Eating the contract it is, then."

Jose grinned nastily, extending a hand to his side with many of his Shades flying to it, turning into pure darkness, "Dead Wave!" he shouted as he fired his attack.

Naruto clenched his right fist, crimson energy pulsing around his arm. He gave a single step forward and his entire limb exploded with dark red energy taking the form of a gigantic fist the size of a train! It shouldn't take a genius to know who had soiled their pants when seeing a fist the size of a carriage fly right at his face. Jose was sent crashing through a wall and watched his castle tremble from the impact.

But the butler was livid, "Come on, get serious!" he shouted to the mage who struggled to get up.

"That… What was that?!" Jose cried, watching in horror as crimson flames of pure energy licked the whiskered man's arms.

Outside of the guild, each clone had done their job. The man with the top hat had a very swollen face after dozens of kunais nailed his clothes to a wall. On another alley the mage with the monocle was unrecognizable after he fell unconscious on a crater the size of a house. The wild-haired steel user met the exact same fate as when he met the blond the first time along the ninja-like mage.

The blue haired girl, however, was having the time of her life, "Juvia never thought she'd meet someone this kind." She said as she sat at a café with the clone Naruto placed to fight her, who was as confused as his boss would be with the turn of events.

"What're you talking about? You're a pretty capable young lady." He said, sipping some coffee while keeping his umbrella over his and her head to keep water from touching their drinks and meal, "Though, saying you're in love with me just because I decided to compliment you is a bit forward."

She nodded, "Then Juvia shall take things slowly for you." She sounded way too determined for that to be a good thing.

"I appreciate the sentiment." He said with a forced smile, "I'm just a butler… or I'd be had I not quit my job. I'm looking for someone to work for that may treat their family better than my last boss."

Blinking in surprise, she asked, "But your manners are those of a true gentleman, even better than any noble's… Certainly better than those Phantom Lord guys Juvia had to deal with."

Her pouting said she really didn't like the guys, and gave him an idea, "If you'd allow me this suggestion as someone who's served a lady to the best of his skills, I'd say you're too good of a woman to just follow them. Be yourself, Juvia, find a place you're comfortable working at, and, perhaps, we can have tea again to discuss how life has changed for you. Hopefully for the best."

With that he got up, bowed to her and left with the water mage's eyes turning into hearts.

Back at the large castle that was Phantom Lord's guild, Jose was shouting and throwing every single Shade spell he could at the furious original Naruto. All he got was to see two massive chakra arms deflecting the spells. Kurama's chakra was thick enough to stop a legendary sword, tanking Jose's spells was like a walk on the beach for the dark-voiced sensei and his blond pupil, a pupil who had punched Jose's teeth out.

Left hooks, right hooks, upper-cuts, backhanded strikes and even an occasional head-butt in which Naruto would pull off his hat to smash his forehead on Jose's own or the slimy mage's nose, had the master down. Dusting his knees with his cap, Naruto stood up fully over the half-dead mage and walked to his office before coming back with a single piece of paper which he threw at the guild master's feed.

"No more…" Jose's cheeks were swollen like balloons and his nose had taken the shape of a potato.

"Just one more thing." Naruto said as he picked a fork from one of the tables, stabbed the paper with it and held it to Jose's face with a friendly smile, "How would you like it, with or without mustard?"

Kurama decided to be honest, "For a guild claiming they're these Fairy Tail guys' rivals, you easily moped the floor with them. Then again, I thought you how to fully use my power to protect your princess and you haven't stopped training ever since. Guess I should have seen how much of a one-sided fight this was right from the start…"

While Jose started chewing on the paper Naruto stood up and walked out of the guild, "You said that technique could beat a deity, sensei." He reminded the voice in his head, "Then again, if those Fairy Tail mages had fought this guy without their master, they'd have been whipped out easily, and this guy's smart. I guess that's why Lucy's dad hired him."

Kurama agreed, and then his voice told Naruto he had thought a lot about what he said next, "Maybe you should take your princess with you. Not like eloping, unless you want- No, I won't try to tease you. Listen, I can see from a bastard like this Jose that this guild she's in will bring her nothing but trouble. If you want her safe, you and I know you should take care of her, not let others do so."

Naruto was about to reply, until hearing Jose's angry voice, "Dead W-" Jose was ready to attack and turn Naruto into nothingness, he didn't expect to see the blond turn around with a heavily concentrated ball of chakra in front of his right extended palm.

"Bijuu…" Naruto whispered before lifting up his hand, "Dama."

XXXXXX

Everyone in the city could see a large cloud of smoke coming from what used to be one of the greatest guilds they had, even if they didn't like to admit it. Lucy herself had arrived to the station to see the place that Phantom Lord's castle was supposed to be gone from the map. Well, more like out of existence itself if one didn't count the floor where a gaping Jose could be seen frozen in fear and still gaping.

She also found Naruto waiting for her at the station with a smile on his face and his hands behind his back, "I take it things went well, milady."

Lucy smiled back, albeit slightly melancholic, "I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you, Naruto. I really need to stop letting people save m-" she was about to go on about how she shouldn't be saved, but the blue eyed fighter flicked her forehead.

"Hey, let me say something I can say now that I'm no longer working for your family… I don't care about needing a reason to save you, I do it because I want to. That's all there is to it, and…" he pulled out a single red rose from his back, "… I do it because you're you. To you I wasn't some dirty kid that should have been ignored, I was someone you wanted to be with. If you say you're not worth it… I'd say you're wrong."

Rubbing her forehead, she couldn't help but smile and hug her friend and butler, "Thank you…" she slid her hands up to his collar and he put his on her waist.

It was short, it was simple, and it was clean, but it was still amazing to fill her lips on his, "Your dad would kill me if he kn-"

"Just shut up and kiss me."

He did as told, after all, he had to obey his princess.

 **XXXXXX**

And that's my rap!

And that's also it. I just wanted to do this as a one-shot for fun since the idea pestered my head of using the Naruto plot I like the most: him being given kindness by strangers. And I mean real kindness. Whatever happens here, I'll leave it to your imagination, dear readers. I wanted to do a fun one-shot and did what I wanted.

Also, before any of you tells me that I shouldn't have picked Lucy or are about to spam hate comments because you don't like her, here's my reason: to me, she's human. Lucy feels to me like the most human character in all Fairy Tail. She's got issues with her dad, wants to be free of his grip and when the old man dies she does genuinely feels sad for him because he was at least her family.

Of course, Fairy Tail nowadays is pretty much about making some over-powered villain and have Natsu god-mode the plot. Then again, that's me Mr. Pot calling Kettle for a tea party. All joking aside, I feel that I connect with Lucy more than anyone else in Fairy Tail, which sadly isn't hard since barely anyone acts like real people with the exception of the girls.

Actually, the female characters are the ones I feel are better written, but only because the male characters stick to one joke as their character trait. Meanwhile, Natsu as the main character doesn't have much to offer but a few more jokes as his character traits and being, well, the hero.

Erza on the other hand is well-rounded when we see her backstory, why she wants to wear her armor and what her life was like when she had friends... And then Jellal happens and she has to spin around him because somehow having amnesia and feeling regret for laughing while willingly killing a friend... Yeah, I can't say that redeems anyone and it shouldn't, ever.

Rant over.

I hope you had fun despite this cliché formula of a guy kicking ass to make his girl happy. But as a man myself I can't help but enjoy that idea of romance when I really care about the girl and can relate to her as a person... Ok, I got too sappy, so just imagine Naruto and Lucy screwed each other senseless.

Swordslinger out!


	2. Chapter 2

I OWN NOTHING

After some really hard times here, I needed something like this to grin again.

Author's note: In case last chapter wasn't obvious, I don't particularly like Natsu or that many of the male characters from Fairy Tail. Like I said in the note at the end of the previous chapter, the girls all have some backgrounds I can relate to, and Lucy's the one I find the most human. But guys like Natsu just stick to a single character trait and don't really evolve. I mean, he found his dragon dad and didn't change him at all.

Bottom line is, if you like Natsu that is fine and all, but this has been written as a warning from someone who doesn't like him writing this character. Don't expect me to apologize for what I do to him here, and don't expect me to change what I write. Natsu is the most un-relatable character to me. All he amounts to is being the hero and getting stronger because he's the hero.

I know I'm being a hypocrite with this story, but the reason I like Naruto despite his flaws and his manga committing some of the same sins as Fairy Tail is because he wants to try hard. Even if his reasons are bullshit for Kishimoto's plot devices, Naruto still tries, bleeds and has to learn and adapt. Natsu beat Jellal by eating some magic power that was around, and got power-ups from Ultear using team magic, not training.

 **XXXXXX**

Butler or not, every man gives kindness to his lady with a smile. This Lucy knew as she woke up with a smile on her bed, fully in the nude. With wide hips, a round but amazingly perfectly level of plump in all the right places, and proof that she was a natural blonde, she was a sight no man would get to see without dying after meeting her butler. No other man but him was allowed close to her, and he was equally naked.

Sitting on her bed with her sheets barely covering her rear, Lucy smiled sleepily as her butler had a pleased look on his face while the sun showed his muscular upper body, and scratch marks on his sides and back. She sighed upon trying to get out of the bed, took in a deep breath, and almost let out a sharp gasp at the soreness and pain shooting through her. A hand instinctively went to her stomach, rubbing her abdomen.

Also, one should note she was straddling Naruto, her legs on both sides of his waist, and feeling her move he stirred and woke up with a smile on his face, "Good morning, my princess." He put his left hand on her hip, making her giggle while her marveled at how good her hair looked down, "What would you like for breakfast?"

She leaned down, pressing her body on his before placing her lips softly on his, "No need for that, you no longer have to obey me."

He grinned, "I do remember you wanted me to obey you when you put me down and…" he lifted his right arm, which had its wrist tied to the bed with Lucy's missing bow.

She shook her head, her ears growing hotter by the second, "I was just… it's called roleplay… Never mind. Naruto…" she looked at him with soft eyes, "How will we make this work? I mean, I did crush on you as a little girl, and I love you, but… In many stories I read there's one thing like love and another is to… like someone. I know we're together, and I'd be happy to just be your friend even after… this."

He chuckled awkwardly, "I'm not sure I follow you. I love you, so of course I like you."

"Not like that… One story I read, about that adventurous treasure hunter you sort of dislike…"

"The one whose entire dialogue is full of smug quips? Eh, he sort of grew on me when he settled with that blonde journalist."

"Yeah, they always broke between books. In the second, they lost the rush of adrenaline that made them, you know, fall in love. It happened in the third book too, even if in all of them they ended together. In the end, it was all adrenaline between the two, but in the fourth they tried to like each other, and even had a daughter because they could see past all that rush of hormones and still enjoy being together."

Cocking an eyebrow and tilting his head to the side, Naruto showed Lucy she needed to work on her knots when tilting her chin with his hand to make her look him in the eye, "I'd have never been here if I didn't like you the very moment I met you. You were kind to me, and I liked that about you, that you are always kind no matter what. I ended up loving you because of… I'm really getting melodramatic, aren't I?"

She giggled, her voice music to his ears, "No, it's alright! You can go on. I could use it to write a novel for little girls about knights in shining armor!"

He sat up, pressing his forehead on hers, "Well, I'd be delighted to keep serving my-"

"Princess, breakfast is ready. Also, if it is your desire, you can punish me for interfering in your private time with-"

"Virgo, out!"

In a matter of seconds, a maid with short pink hair had entered in with a tray in her hands, got thrown a pillow to the face by the shocked Lucy once she covered her naked self, and walked out. Remarkably, the maid still had the pillow on her face and didn't seem to be bothered by it when returning to the kitchen to put the tray down. While Lucy was busy hiding her body from view, Naruto just stared at nothing, baffled.

Finally, he let out a small if odd laugh that showed how confused he still was, "So, she also calls you Princess. I guess you missed me."

Lucy pulled another pillow and smacked him on the face with it, but it was a pillow so it didn't hurt, "Just… be sure to clean yourself and we can have breakfast. Virgo does the work and-"

"Wait, Virgo?" Naruto took the pillow off his face, which showed even more surprise, and looked at the maid, "You told me she was a mixture of a gorilla, a sumo wrestler and every bad choice your dad made."

"That was before she signed a contract with me." The girl replied, "Trust me, I was surprised when seeing her like… that."

With that said, but got up and started picking their clothes, though Lucy had to get new panties on since Naruto ripped them off, and he had to take a spare orange shirt since she shredded the one he wore. But, of course, they also needed a bath. Virgo for her part tuned them with a pair of earplugs and a tune she hummed when she heard the water fall to clean her summoner's naked body and said girl's butler's.

Inside the shower, Naruto was presented with Lucy's back and was happily shampooing her hair, "Since you have a maid spirit, does this mean I get to boss someone around?" he had a playful smile.

"Let's see. I mean, you're really good as a butler and an even better bodyguard, but if we're… well, together in this weird way, we should ask her about it. Now turn around, let me wash your back and hair." He did as told, his hair out of the ponytail and shampooed by Lucy's skilled hands, "I'm surprised you let it grow this long."

"That sensei your father hired said shinobi and samurai used their hair as a way to mark their growth, honor, status… or something like that. I kind of dozed off between his speeches." He gave a sheepish grin at the thought before shaking his head, "Point is, he told me to keep my hair as a symbol of my servitude to the one I must protect as a ninja. I have my hair this long because I haven't cut it once after that lesson."

She smiled at his dedication, but her grin fell when seeing the scars across his body from that brutal training, "You still had no reason to take that abuse my father forced on you."

"Without it, I wouldn't have been able to protect you, that's all I thought about." He didn't even miss a beat for his reply, and his eyes were still warm like his grin.

Lucy smiled and pressed her face on his back, "Thank you… And I mean it. I don't think I ever earned the right to be with someone like you-"

"I never got the chance to be with someone like you before I met you." He smiled, turning around and cupping her cheeks before pecking her lips, "So don't worry, your dear knight Sir Wizard shall always keep safe the princess that was kind to him. Or do you really think I need another reason to want to be with someone like you?"

Her ears grew hot as she nestled her face on his chest, letting the water drip down their bodies, "No, it's fine just like that."

Once both were bathed and seated, breakfast was served by Virgo who did her best to avoid eye contact. The two ate in peace with Naruto digging into a large stack of pancakes and Lucy enjoying a fruit salad. But, being his princess for some time, Lucy could tell Naruto had something in mind. He ate but did so slowly and calmly, and even if he had been taught good manners there was no stopping a hungry Naruto.

"So…" just like she expected he tried to avoid eye contact while slowly cutting his cooked dough, with the look a boy would have when trying to tell his mother he broke a valuable vase, "I went to Fairy Tail before meeting Levy, asking questions about you at the guild. They were really reluctant of giving you away, though there was this guy, Lux or something…"

"Laxus." A groan escaped her at the thought, "I don't even know him that well but I can tell what must have happened… Wait, did you-"

"Kick his teeth in? Only after he badmouthed you." He put down his fork and knife with a sigh and decided to be honest with a shrug, "I also met Natsu there, some stripper boy and quite some questionable people like some tall guy trying too hard to be manly. It was only the barmaid that tried to scold him for calling you a certain word I won't mention before a lady like you and Miss Virgo here."

"Thank you for minding me, senpai." The maid bowed, having taken off the earplugs when seeing Lucy enter the kitchen.

"Uh, I'm not your senpai." Naruto was uneasy and it could be seen in his expression, though he really wouldn't mind having an underling there were stories of girls obsessing with seniors that scared him.

"Sir?" she kept her face in that blank, basically dead expression.

"No, not that either." He could feel his face tensing while he shut his eyes, trying to keep himself collected for he knew a migraine would come.

"Master?" her expression didn't change, voice still monotone.

But Naruto gave her a thumb up, "I can live with that."

Lucy looked away, tempted to say something but knowing she had done something similar, but questions had to be made, "So, what were you trying to get to?"

"I've seen the guild you say you love." He focused on her, eyes closed, "You and I know now that Fairy Tail isn't safe, because there must me other guilds like Phantom Lord out there who won't like their popularity. To this day your father and I have worried if they could keep you from harm, and yesterday proved they could bring harm to you. Lucy, I have to ask, is it really worth it? To risk your life to be with these people?"

Her eyes widened, her mouth opening slowly and letting out a silent gasp, "What do you mean? You want me…"

"You could look for the keys yourself." He explained, "Think on it, you'd be a mage to do your mother proud if you could find all twelve of those special keys. You could do that better by leaving Fairy Tail, just traveling with me to search for every single one without being put in danger just because you're with them. So, that is why…"

She shook her head, "No! You can't! You… Are you even listening to yourself?! You just got back in my life to tell me what to-"

"That is why…" he silenced her by increasing his volume with a raised hand, "I will… gladly stay by your side if you want to continue working with them."

Lucy's eyes went blank, her mouth hanging open, "What...?"

"If you want to put yourself in danger, I'll gladly take the pain for you as if I were another one of those spirits, my princess." He put on his best charming foxy smile, "Of course, I won't work for them or get tattooed. I just want to see you safe and sound, and I can always look for ways to get money with plenty of free time for myself just to help you."

"But everything you just said…"

"Lucy, I will stand by what I think, and I think Fairy Tail will bring you nothing but trouble if you stay with such a dangerous guild. Perhaps it has only three responsible people, the barmaid, Levy and some lady called Erza, but that's about it. I'm not saying this as a butler or a friend, but as the little boy you played with, the stranger you met at a park once. I will keep you safe, my princess, whatever your choice is."

She blushed, "You're being the perfect boyfriend, you know?"

He grinned, "I'm Sir Wizard, aren't I? I like to keep my princess happy. Besides, after last night there's no way I wouldn't try to keep making you happy."

Her blush intensified, and got even worse when Virgo spoke, "If you do not mind, I could prepare your bedroom for when you desire to repeat such an occasion and give you pointers on how to tie a servant for-"

Naruto was surprised Lucy's head didn't explode when steam started coming out of her ears from anger, "Virgo, bad! Go back this instant!"

He couldn't help it and burst out laughing, not really helping Lucy when the two were left alone after the maid returned to her realm, "You could have let her continue, I wouldn't mind serving you again!" he got out between fist of laughter.

"Not another word, I was just… caught in the moment, is all…" she lifted her glass of juice, but couldn't bring it to her lips with how much her hand trembled, "I mean, tying you down, making you worship my body, having you call me such sexy things like mistress… That's not what I'd do, it was just roleplay, that's all, it's not like I have had dreams about it or read anything dirty when thinking about you…"

"Right…" the dull tone said he didn't believe her, but his smirk remained in place… for two seconds.

"LUCY! I'M HERE! Hey, is that breakfast?! Can I get a bite out of your plate?!"

The window suddenly swung upon and Naruto's expression soured while Lucy slowly gained a look of utter shock, mortification, and mind numbing rage. Natsu climbed into her apartment while Naruto got off the table, the beautiful blonde summoner slapping her face while the pink haired Dragon Slayer looked straight at Naruto who merely held out his hand. The fire using mage just drooled when looking at the table.

A trio of small kunai were held between the butler's fingers as he calmly said, so calmly it was terrifying, "You have three seconds to leave before I get nasty. This is my mistress's home, you're breaching her privacy, and you're demanding to eat her food after entering without any good manners."

Natsu snapped at him, "Hey, you can't tell me what to do! Especially as Lucy lets me come here! Not like she has anything more important to do."

"It's time I perform my duties as her butler… Removing the trash." Naruto said with a serious stare that made Natsu grin widely as he beckoned Naruto to try and remove him.

Natsu's glare intensified before he jumped at the blond, "Just do it you ponce! I'll kick your ass and Lucy can get back to the guild! I have a mission I want to do with her!"

Two seconds later and Natsu had been thrown out the window with a well-placed kick, landed flat on his back and groaned while the whiskered man closed the window swiftly, "I'll have to take measures to-"

"Man, these are some killer pancakes." Happy said while finishing Naruto's breakfast, and seconds later the window was yet again opened to throw the cat down into the half-conscious Natsu.

"As I was saying…" Naruto grumbled while closing the window a second time, "I'll need measures to-"

"Hey Lucy, what's with this bra in the living room?" none other than Gray asked while sitting down on her sofa, fully nude. The window was opened a third time by one Naruto, a clone sending Gray flying down into the barely conscious Natsu and Happy, and the reaction got the two male mages fighting.

"Anyway… before I jinx it again…" Naruto picked up the bra with fire threatening to come out of his mouth, handing the large undergarment to a very embarrassed Lucy. She regretted having thrown it out before pushing him on the sofa to show him some moves, "Is there anyone else that has entered this house without your permission that I should be aware of?"

"This tea is delightful, Lucy, I may need the recipe… Oh hi, Naruto." Erza put down the cup with a small smile on her lips as she sat on the table.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, turning to Lucy afterwards, "Are you sure you want to remain with this group?"

"I tend to ask myself that at times." Lucy's voice was flatter than her maid's. She turned to Erza, "At least she's not eating everything in the fridge and is actually dressed."

"Considering that, I guess I can make an extra cup of tea." Naruto got up and walked to the cabinet, "What'll be your pleasure, Lady Erza? Let me warn you, though, I make an excellent green tea."

The armored mage smiled softly, "I'd be delighted to taste some, and tell you something." She got up and bowed to him, "Your deeds haven't been unheard, and I'd like to thank you in Fairy Tail's sake. To fight a guile like Phantom Lord and stopping a war in which many could be hurt, I'm speechless when it comes to trying to express how grateful I am that you are Lucy's friend."

He gave her a large, admittedly goofy smile as he barely contained a brief laugh, "Come on, you're going to make me blush… but do go on, I'd like to hear more of-" he was lightly elbowed by Lucy.

"I thought you were taught manners." She gave him a look that said she expected him to not behave like a child.

He gave her a cheeky grin and shrugged, "Modesty was part of the course, but I'll take what I get when it comes to praise. I am human, Princess."

She pouted, he used that nickname to basically call her a hypocrite since when it came to vanity it was hard to tell who was vainer, her or Naruto. In the end the three sat at a table and enjoyed their tea peacefully. It was also a good thing Naruto had closed the window for it started to rain outside, though he couldn't help but feel watched. And indeed, he was, by a growling blue haired young woman with binoculars.

"She's fast, but Juvia has read enough books to understand what good netorare is… She shall steal the handsome butler all for herself."

Inside, Erza had some things to talk about, "Modest or not, the council would like to question a man that attacked a legal guild, as questionable as Phantom Lord was." She sounded somber, and yet a smile grew on her face, "But thanks to Levy's testimony and that of a witness who claims you aided her from going on a forced date with one of them, things have changed."

"What do you mean changed?" Lucy knew the council was bullshit, "Those guys would lock Naruto up, wouldn't they?"

"The council would rather make it out as having a civilian defending himself from a corrupt guild and using whatever control they have over the media to cover their negligence than admit their faults." The knight woman closed her eyes somberly, "It's all made out to be that Naruto was fighting to keep civilians safe and that the council knew nothing of it until hearing the testimony. Sadly, that's how they run things."

Kurama huffed in the blond butler's mind, "Sounds a lot like home, doesn't it?"

Naruto ignored the comment and decided to make tea, but inwardly accepted that no matter where he went, there'd always be people trying to look good while doing evil.

XXXXXX

"Are you sure about this, Princess?" Naruto asked, clad in a pair of black swimming trunks with orange flames, a white Hawaiian shirt, and his orange cap.

Lucy had taken him to the nearest beach she knew of and was wearing a swimsuit that was best described as delectable for the eyes. With a white top that hugged her bosom and moderately showed her skin, a matching bottom part that didn't wrinkle as her hips moved in the air, and her skin shining with the sun on the sea water over it. Having her hair in pigtails added to the charm as well as a blue cloth as a skirt.

"You're the only one that can keep her in line." Lucy said, sighing, "I mean, I summoned her when I met Natsu and she got a bit too…"

"Destructive, crazy, cranky that you still haven't found her boyfriend's key… I can go on."

"Just be ready." Lucy said before putting the key on the water.

And in a split second, Naruto stood on the sand, watching with his arms crossed at a blue haired mermaid with a very sensual figure, a long mane of hair… and a furious look in her eyes, "You!" she aimed a finger at him, "You're the little punk that always gets in my way whenever I get summoned by-"

"I'm also the Princess' boyfriend." He cracked his knuckles with a dull expression on his face, "I'll advice that your next words are chosen very, but oh so very carefully."

Aquarius, the magical water controlling spirit, scoffed, "So she thinks she's a fully grown woman just because she went out with… Wait, that… that aura… the way you smell of each other…" her eyes grew in realization, a single accusatory finger aimed at the blond, "You two have done it already?! Why?! How?! I've been going out with my darling far before you two… and you have already gotten to that point?!"

"You don't have to shout it to the four winds!" Lucy felt her face glowing so hot she swore the sea was evaporating around her.

Aquarius cringed, "No, it doesn't matter, I'm sure it was a moment of lust! Yes, that's it! Just two kids lost in a daze of emotions and-"

"And sharing breakfast, a house, and all that stuff lovers in our position share." Naruto's face was the definition of a shit-eating grin as he tilted up his cap to look at the mermaid, "Of course, you should know what that's like, right? It's not like you haven't done everything you could to remind Lucy she was single, that you had a boyfriend every time you could, or that your love life was perfect while I was and wasn't around."

If it wasn't obvious, Naruto didn't like Aquarius when he first met the spirit as a young child when Lucy was introduced to Spirit Magic by her mother. The mermaid was always in a bad mood when away from some boyfriend of hers, and the blond never liked how she constantly spoke about that detail while looking down on single girls. Aquarius did have power and he'd argue cared for Lucy, but she left a bad first impression.

"Why you little…" Aquarius was more than ready to bring a tsunami down on Naruto, but there was one problem: he was strong, he was insanely strong, and, dare she admit it, he was stronger than her. It wasn't every day that a spirit that could shift the tides on a whim would find a tiny boy learning to be a perfect butler just punching one of her attacks… and splitting in half a tidal wave. All before returning to make tea.

"This is why I prefer to summon Cancer…" Lucy put a hand on her face, using her fingers to massage her temples. And true enough, the hairstylist was the one spirit Naruto got along because he the two did serve Lucy well. Taurus on the other hand had been introduced to Naruto's fist several times when puberty hit Lucy and gifted her with great wonders. Virgo he had just met, and her new key had yet to be used.

Then again, Naruto prided himself on being Lucy's knight in shining armor, "If she gives you trouble, give me the call." The butler returned to his cross armed position while standing on the sand, watching his mistress practice controlling Aquarius. The mermaid glared at the blond but had no other choice, she knew he would suplex a train if Lucy asked, and five more for good measure whether she said so or not.

It was actually good for the blonde summoner, for once she got to get her most rebellious summon to help her rather than helping her while simultaneously nearly drowning her. It was almost empowering. However, all good things have to come to an end and after Naruto watched the waves change to the mermaid's whims, they called it a day. They had plans to return to their home and everything, but…

"Hey, I know that guy…" Lucy spied a lion-like guy with her eyes, a guy that Naruto saw at her guild, "Hey Naruto, do you mind going ahead? I've wanted to talk to that guy for some time and-"

"I…" he froze, his mind racing, "You, alone with a playboy like him? I watched him at the guild, there's no… I mean, I… I can't really say this without sounding like the jealous guy, but-"

"He's actually afraid of me." She had a light blush on her face when mentioning that, feeling embarrassed at the thought, "It's because I'm a Spirit Mage. I don't know what it is, but I got to know. Could you just let me do so alone? Otherwise… well, I do fear you may do something reckless if you get protective."

He put his hands on his hips, "Please, like I would-"

"Do you remember the time a boy took my cake slice on one of my birthdays? He does, because you broke his nose." Her eyes didn't leave him any chance to argue, "Or what of the time a punk spilled his drink on me and didn't apologize when you told him to? You had him on his knees with a headlock… and you weren't twelve that time!"

She got him there, he had to admit while keeping his eyes away from her, "Ok, maybe, just maybe, I do go a bit over the top to make sure… you're still going alone to talk to him, aren't you?" she nodded with a serious expression, making him sigh in defeat, "Fine, I'll see if I can buy something for a proper caprese salad… But not without this."

Her eyes squinted at the small three-pronged kunai he handed her, "One of your magical kunais?"

"If you get in trouble, put a little magic in it and I'll be there in a flash to start punching." He emphasized his statement by punching his palm.

She giggled, "Don't worry, I still got my keys and whip. I did say I'd be able to stand by your side one day, right? I may still not be that tough, but just give me time."

He nodded uneasily and the two went their ways… And soon Naruto would come to know that the playboy was actually the spirit of Leo, Lucy had set him free from a really unfair punishment, and she had another key. Also, just to make things even more ridiculous with how life could change around Lucy ever since she joined the most questionable guild ever, Leo had gotten them tickets to a wonderful beach resort.

It was no surprise they made their way there quickly.

"Aaaaaahhnnnmhhh~" Lucy's jubilant moan echoed in the warm sunlight, as Naruto calmly messaged her back and gently rubbed sun lotion into it while she rested her heavy bosom on a towel. Her bra was currently unstrapped as she felt her lover and butler relieve her back of its knots and various cramps. Dealing with Natsu and other loud mages at Fairy Tail gave her no small amount of stress and tension.

The sun beat down on their head yet the cool coastal wind gave the Akane Resort an altogether very pleasant atmosphere. Natsu was strung up against a palm tree by his scarf, several kunai nailing him to it while he was beaten unconscious for trying to burst in on Lucy when she and the other girls were changing. For once Naruto didn't need to wail on him, Erza did that just fine in a towering fury.

That being said… Lucy loved Akane Resort. It was an absolutely gorgeous locale, and it was easily among the best looking places she had ever had the fortune to go to. She opened her eyes after Naruto had left to let her sun bathe, a shadow blocking out her sun and making her grimace until she looked up. Rain was pouring all around her and moistened the sand, but thankfully she had an umbrella to remain dry.

However, an astonishingly attractive blue haired woman was standing in front of her, wearing a daring and skimpy V-cut swimsuit, she looked down her nose at the blonde beneath her. "Can… I help you?" Lucy asked, refraining from groaning as she had a bad feeling about the blue haired woman.

She just glared at Lucy and bluntly told her, in third person no less, "Juvia doesn't like you. At all. So she'll steal Naruto from this unlikeable blonde strumpet."

Point blank and refreshingly simple, why couldn't more people be... "Wait, what!?" She almost leapt to her feet until she remembered her top was off, so she could only glare angrily at the girl looking down at her.

"Juvia will NTR Naruto from the blonde harlot, she doesn't deserve someone as absolutely wonderful as Naruto." The water mage said bluntly again, glaring harshly at Lucy who gaped for a few more moments before she glared right back.

"Like hell you will! Listen here, you blueberry-haired freak show, I'm not going to give up my lover to someone who hasn't even known him as long as I have... Especially not some creep like you who wants to steal him!" Lucy finally sat up, her arm covering her breasts. Juvia just smiled nastily, a water blade appearing around her arm as with her other she made a full scale replica of Lucy, getting even her proportions right.

Then she swung the water blade at the clone's body, bifurcating it cleanly. "Juvia doesn't have to do it when the trollop is alive, of course." Her smile was chilling and Lucy slowly gulped as she saw how dark the blue haired mage's eyes were in that moment.

"Can I help you?" Naruto stood right behind Juvia, his cap shadowing his eyes. "Because it seems you're looking for trouble, and I don't want anyone troubling my princess."

"Oh, N-" and that's as far as Juvia got before Naruto put a hand on her shoulder and his fingers applied pressure. However, still being gentlemanly enough, he used his other arm to catch the water mage before she hit the sand with a heavy, tired sigh.

"I honestly didn't expect this." He gave his princess a sheepish smile, "You can't say life is dull, huh?"

"And you said Fairy Tail attracted trouble." She got him, making him cringe.

"Ok, on my defense I just tried to be nice to her since she wasn't as cartoonishly evil as the other Phantom Lord mages… I certainly didn't expect his kind of obsession." He settled Juvia down besides Lucy, and helped his mistress to put her top on before grabbing the Umbrella to keep themselves dry, "Let's just leave her here and move somewhere else quietly, what do you say?"

"Yes, please." She accepted his hand to get up and the two left the blue haired young woman to avoid having her giving them trouble.

Juvia woke up quickly, quicker than Naruto would guess, thanks to… the power of love, as she'd put it. Her eyes snapped open and her heart beat rapidly, a huge blush coming over her face as she rose up slowly.

"Naruto touched this unworthy Juvia… o-oh! His hands were so warm, and he set Juvia down gently too…! Naruto! This Juvia will forever love you! She'll steal you away from that unworthy blonde harlot, that she will! Aaahnn~ Naruto~!"

Further away where he and Lucy were about to get some shaved ice together, Naruto had a weird shiver go down his spine. It was equal parts pleasant yet disturbing if he was really honest with himself. Kind of like his mixed feelings regarding Juvia Lockser herself. On one hand he felt responsible for her situation and the destruction of her guild, on the other her obsession with him was a bit off-putting.

Overall he liked Juvia and could see her inner good just about to burst out, but he didn't like her immense antipathy towards his girlfriend and mistress, "Shall we get ready for the casino? I think the guards will do a proper job alerting us of her presence in case she tries anything."

The blonde nodded, "I'll go ahead with Erza, she is more than enough to take care of her and I know you can keep her away on your own."

"Sounds good, Lady Erza has shown to be strong enough to take care of Natsu and Gray." He pondered on it, "Just make sure to give me a call should there be a surprise. Let's rendezvous at the casino in fifteen minutes. If I take longer then I'll probably be with Juvia, and not in the good way… Yeah, that came out wrong."

He groaned at the way he worded it with a grimace, Lucy sighing heavily, "If you can't arrive for whatever reason, I'll have your kunai with me."

With that said, the two went their separate ways.

XXXXXX

While both Lucy and Naruto were lovers… Erza was invited to the trip, and inviting her was a bad idea. Erza was basically the fun police, she frowned upon a fellow guild member and some guy sleeping together in the pure-thought way, and would lose it if she knew they did it in the non-pure-thought way. So she forced Naruto to sleep with the boys, which he could tolerate just to see his princess relax.

Meanwhile, the girls shared a room, "A casino, I don't believe I'm particularly lucky enough to try one of those games." Erza was putting on an elegant dress, "But for some reason I imagine your butler being good at it. I may be rude saying it, but the idea that he's a butler and picturing him in a tuxedo makes me think of those novels of the spy with the golden gun… or was it the spy against the man with a golden gun?"

"The latter, and I know which one you mean." Lucy said with a smile, "And yes, Naruto's surprisingly good. Though I think he cheats. It's really hard to tell, every time we were kids and played cards I could never figure out how he got to beat me. Even my father had trouble with him, and his clients, associates, and really anyone. Many have tried to find out how he does it, but it's like something beyond magic."

Erza smiled, "It should be fun to play with him, then. And…" she closed her eyes, "I'm sorry for forcing you two apart. I do know you two are close, yet we have to try to behave. If people saw you two sharing a room and heard of what he did to Phantom Lord, well, I dare not think how the council could try to twist that around."

Lucy frowned, "Those guys really need to learn some humility… Then again…" there was a loud crash outside, and they peeked out to see Natsu and Gray fighting over who'd get to enter their room first, "I feel like they have a point when looking at those two. Poor Naruto, though, sharing a room with them."

"Let's go on ahead." Erza escorted her blonde friend out, keeping an eye out for any water mages in the vicinity.

Naruto for his part merely locked the door while the fire and ice mage were fighting each other, mentally repeating a mantra to himself that he was there to make his princess happy. He'd have preferred doing so in a suite with her in a sexy fox girl outfit and on top of him. As much as he liked being number one, Lucy had ways of making being her servant enjoyable. But he had to get dressed and put those thoughts aside.

Thankfully he had kept his old tuxedo and was swiftly buttoning up his shirt, just about to put on his bow tie when he heard the commotion outside gaining volume. Groaning to himself, he simply put on his black coat, leaving it open and showing his white shirt with the top two buttons still undone, and looked with disbelief at the sight before him. Natsu and Gray were fighting like rabid dogs on the floor.

"Hey, it's about time you opened the door!" Natsu growled.

Naruto gave him a blank stare, "And it's about time you two get dressed." He calmly pulled back his hair before tying it with a single hairband into a fashionable ponytail.

Natsu grinned, "That is if one of us can keep his clothes on."

"At least I wasn't nailed to a tree for trying to peep on the girls." Gray shot back.

Seeing that the two would fight soon, Naruto, with his arms to his sides, rolled his wrists. Needles shot from his sleeves and he swiftly caught them between each finger. With mastered precision he had nailed both mages' necks with three needles each, paralyzing them completely from the head down. They gasped and tried to twitch their heads, but could only remain frozen in the hall.

"I can make absolute fools of you two." His voice was dangerously calm, as was his smile, "I could leave you two fully undressed in the women's changing room with your hands on the other's crotch. I could sneak on you in your sleep and glue your asses together. Hell, I could even just put heavy aphrodisiacs in your drinks and leave you two alone in a locked room for weeks. All I need is an excuse. Will you two give me one?"

The two mages grinned awkwardly, "N-No sir…" they hoped he'd remove the needles, but he didn't.

Keeping his smile in place, the butler nodded, "Good." He closed the door and was about to put on his bow tie before looking at the mirror and shrugging. "Maybe a finely suited bad boy look could be fun." He smirked and pulled up his collar, trying to look informal as he also pulled his shirt out of his pants and put his hands in his pockets. He tried to look like a gangster with a cocky smirk.

The idea of the girl he loved around his arm, playing at a table and winning big while looking dangerous was most men's romance, and Naruto was no exception. He was happy with the look, he just needed to… not see Juvia still in that very revealing swimsuit at his window. Her eyes were locked on his body while her curvaceous legs hung a few inches from the floor. At least the rain cloud didn't follow her into the room.

"This Juvia is all yours…" she had a massive blush, and a hand reaching for the top of her bikini behind her neck.

In a split second, Naruto's body was covered in smoke and in his place were the frozen Natsu and Gray, needles still in place. Juvia's face turned a furious shade of red when the two mages ogled her just as she was about to reveal her body to her beloved. The butler for his part grimaced in actual guilt when hearing loud noises and screams from the room. He started whistling and put on a pair of sunglasses to try to be casual.

"I should feel bad but…" he kept whistling, trying not to think on what he had done, but… "Ugh… Why do I have to have a heart?"

Turning around, he found the door burst open, the two mages pinned to a wall by Juvia's water with the needles still on their necks, and the woman looking absolutely livid until seeing him, "Ah, Naruto! You came back for me, my love!" she squealed like a schoolgirl before her crush.

"I actually came to help those two." He reluctantly aimed a finger at the two mages, "See, my plan was to leave them behind since I just don't like the way they treat my princess, but then I have to think that she likes these two. On that note, I have to also think that if she likes them, then I will have to try to… not murder them." He scratched his head in mild embarrassment, "Sorry, that's the best I can give."

"Fine by me, just get us out!" Natsu cried.

Calmly pulling his shirt's sleeves out of the coat's wrists, the butler approached the rain maiden while she stared at him with hearty eyes. She approached him with the water turning into large tendrils that moved together into the shape of a heart. It felt tense as both stopped a couple of feet from each other with the blue haired young woman feeling her chest beating madly and Naruto somehow keeping his cool.

"Juvia doesn't mind it's those two she has to beat up to get to see you, she shall always do whatever it's needed to be with you…" her cheeks were rosy and her eyes sparkled.

He sighed, mentally pondering what he'd say while his sensei groaned, "Just knock her out, a good and hard enough punch should knock some neurons loose and she may forget about you."

He wondered if he really had the heart to do such a thing, but the water mage was giving him that infernally adorable look only a cute puppy would have, only seen in childish comics for little girls. His mind raced with a million ways he could solve it. Juvia wanted to be with him, and steal him from Lucy. He loved Lucy and liked to be with her regardless of how good it was to have someone as in love with him as Juvia.

Also, he also barely knew the young woman before him, even if any sane man would want to with her body. But he had talked with her, seen she was good but really needed some good friends despite her insane desire to… serve… An idea quickly brewed in his head and he almost snapped his fingers. It had been just five seconds inside his mind but he had an idea so stupid it just may work.

"Do you know why I serve Lucy?" he didn't expect to see a vein bulging in her forehead, threatening to pop.

"It's because of duty, nothing else." She was clearly in denial.

"Juvia, if it weren't for Lucy, I wouldn't have met you." He tried to phrase things better, he was just going along with whatever he was saying.

She balled her hands into fists, the water boiling around her from rage, "It means nothing, Juvia can show you actual love, she can-"

"You can try, but I owe Lucy a lot." He was firm, "I know you'll be mad, and I know you won't like what I say, but I have to put it bluntly. I serve a person who rather than look down at me took me in… Juvia, it is because of that kindness that I wanted to be kind to you."

While she had been ready to lash out and destroy the hotel, those last words made the water mage stare at him in surprise, "What?"

He nodded, "I am the man you see because that one person was nice to me when I first met her. Juvia, who knows what I'd have ended up if I didn't, but truth is… I don't regret it. It is because of her that I would like to, at the very least, help you. Just like she helped me out of the streets I want to see you doing better than being in Phantom Lord. So, you have to admit, you owe Lucy that."

She gave a pouty "Hmph!" before turning her head to the side, "Fine… Juvia shall admit that and not murder her in her sleep, but she won't give up. She will make you accept her love!"

He slipped a hand over his head to try to remain calm, as if it'd help keep his thoughts in line, "I guess that's a start."

His sensei grumbled, "Only you can get into this kind of trouble. Just get back to your princess and act like nothing ever happened."

He did as told, "I'll have to leave now, though I hope to meet you again in less tense scenarios." He gave his best charming smile before vanishing with a golden flash.

Juvia's eyes turned into hearts while she clasped her hands together, "That blonde bimbo may have helped you be the man you are, but Juvia shall always love your kindness to her." She skipped off to try to find him, knowing he'd have to be at the casino.

However, both felt like they were forgetting something… "Hey Naruto, this isn't funny, let us go!" Gray cried while he and Natsu remained paralyzed with the needles in their necks.

A nearby blue cat stared with a smug smirk, "Say, what would you two give me to take those out for you?"

XXXXXX

Once at the casino, the butler whistled at the luxury displayed shamelessly for anyone who'd set foot into it. He also found it surprisingly deserted with the only players in it being Lucy and Erza at a poker table with a dark skinned boy as the dealer. He swiftly made his way to their side when seeing Erza react to something the dealer showed her, which also had Lucy quite shocked. He had to stop when someone took aim.

"You should have never met me." A polygon-shaped man dressing like some dandy out of Lucy's books said, aiming a polygon-shaped gun at him.

The trigger was squeezed and Lucy turned to see in shock how her butler fell to the floor, her hands clasping her mouth… before a grin grew on her face from relief when a cloud of smoke showed log, not her butler. Gasping in surprise, the dandy was left wide open for the butler that appeared at his side, throwing his hands at him from a few yards away. Six sharp shurikens flew at the square dandy who barely had time to aim.

With impressive aim and gun skill, the gunslinger got the projectiles and broke them midair with well-placed bullets while the butler kept rushing at him. Showing mastered skills, Naruto jumped into the air, flipping his body while spinning around, and landed behind the dandy in a crouched position. The gunslinger had just turned his head, but the rest of his body wasn't as fast and thus he had an elbow on his gut.

Naruto's strength was shown yet again when the fedora wearing man was sent flying and crashed on a table before he returned to his crouched stance, three kunais in between each hand's fingers, "Next." His words made the young dealer gasp in surprise at first before glaring hard at him, but he didn't seem that bothered, which worried Naruto.

"We have her, let's leave now!" the dealer held up a card… which housed Erza inside.

Due to his training as a gentleman, Naruto's first instinct was to dash and help the redhead woman, but another problem arose when he heard Lucy yelp. The blonde girl was confronted by a brunette with two tufts of hair on top of her head resembling cat ears… and most of her features being quite feline-like. However, his princess did have a promise to uphold of protecting herself, and thus lifted her skirt, grabbing…

"Back!" Lucy lashed at the cat girl, making her step back when a familiar whip nearly got her. The Heartfilia heiress held her weapon in both hands, stretching one half while having the other coiled around her other hand with fury in her eyes, "What're you doing with Erza?! She clearly doesn't want to go with you, so if you're her friends you shouldn't treat her this way!"

The brunette held up her hands, showing sharp claws, "She betrayed us, what would you know of Erza anyway?!"

The butler merely adjusted his shades with the back of his hand, "I know a good person when I meet them, and Lady Erza doesn't strike me as the kind to betray her allies." He stabbed the ground with the kunais in his right hand, holding the others threateningly near his face, "She's also someone my mistress cares for and respects while treating my lady as a friend."

Turning around to face him, the brunette was ready to lash at him… before her eyes focused on his birthmarks, "K… Kitty…" Both servant and heiress felt their higher brain functions die when the girl before them went misty-eyed, staring intently at the butler, "So… cute… Must. Pet." It was like she were hypnotized by Naruto's whisker-like marks.

Lucy spun her head to give him a questioning glance, to which he shrugged, "I'm as surprised as you, I never expected to have this many issues with ladies."

His mistress tried to process what just happened, "Maybe it's true and Fairy Tail combined with you makes this kind of people pop out…" she kept it all under her breath, she didn't want to give him the reason on his theory of Fairy Tail being dangerous. She enjoyed having adventures as a mage, and dare she admit it the adrenaline was quite hooking, she may as well say she was addicted to the thrill.

"I guess opposites do attract." He smugly smirked to his lady, "You got a cool, collected and competent butler ready to service you while they got a pink haired loud-" she immediately stopped him with a simple look, "Ok, ok, I won't go that far."

"Just don't get too full of yourself." She turned to the brunette, still surprised to see her just staring at her butler, "Alright, she's starting to creep me out…"

The cat girl merely brought her hands balled like paws to her cheeks while her eyes scanned Naruto's birthmarks, "I'll comb his hair, feed him from my hand some fresh fatty tuna sushi, and…"

And an idea hit Naruto, "You want to take me home?" the cat girl nodded furiously, making him smirk again before throwing his arms to the sides, "Well, I'm all yours."

"What?!" Lucy was about to shout a storm, but was stopped when the brunette wrapped her and her butler in strange colorful tubes.

"Don't worry, if we can't follow Erza, we'll let them take us give us a ride." The blond man merely sat up and enjoyed the position he was in.

Lucy nodded reluctantly as the cat girl gleefully dragged her and Naruto to her room in a large tower, said room was decorated with everything cat related in a shameless display of cat love. It'd make any cat lady blush with envy to say the least. And just to make things weirder, Lucy found herself strapped to a chair with the brunette's weird magic tubes while Naruto had his head resting on her lap, her hands caressing him.

Though while getting wonderful head patting he couldn't help but worry at his mistress' stare, "Ok, that's enough petting, will you let him go and tell us what you plan to do with Erza?" she gave the cat girl a pouty glare, quite adorable to look at and quite uncomfortable for Naruto. However, her eyes did catch a kunai in his hands, which he slipped out of his sleeves whenever he could get out.

"We're going to make her pay for betraying us." The brunette narrowed her eyes at Lucy, "Jellal said so, she left us and-"

"Let go of Naruto right now." Said a chilling voice behind the cat girl.

"How did-" the brunette watched in horror how a certain yandere water mage stood behind her, clad in a white dress with a short skirt, blue shorts underneath, and a cute white sailor hat on her head.

In the span of two milliseconds, the cat girl was pinned to the wall with a large water sphere, her head sticking out for her to breathe, "How dare you touch him?" Juvia's voice was icily deadly.

Naruto immediately cut off his bindings, and swiftly started to free his mistress, "Juvia, am I glad to see you… and I can't believe I'm saying that." He tilted his head to the side, "Uh, I don't know how else to ask this, but how did you find us?"

Juvia beamed, "Juvia's love allowed her to follow you. Her instincts allowed her to be close to you when you were in danger, and she also placed a spell to locate her rival in case she ever cheated on you."

Both yellow haired lovers felt mildly disturbed by the revelation, Lucy speaking, "I see…" her right eye started to twitch while she kept her distance from the water user, "Well, at least you can help us save Erza."

"Stop." The blue haired young woman stood before Lucy, rising her nose to try to look down on her, "You are Juvia's rival, and make no mistake of that, but… Juvia has heard of your kindness to Naruto, so… she will be kinder to you and perhaps even… work as your maid. But only to be by Naruto's side."

The blonde blinked several times in disbelief, "Wait, you can't be serious, not at a time like-"

"Juvia is deadly serious, mistress!" she clasped Lucy's hands, holding them in hers, "She shall work for you, as Naruto's underling preferably to be with him and show him that Juvia can be a better woman! You may be Juvia's rival, but Juvia will be the better woman by making you like her so much you'll want him to be with her forever! It's the perfect revenge!"

Naruto arched an eyebrow, "I swear I read this on a certain story…"

Lucy pulled her hands free with a heavy sigh, "Fine, let's look for Erza and help her before this Jellal hurts her."

Everyone nodded, but their feline friend stopped them, "Why?!" she cried, literally, as tears streamed down her face in a way that made them flinch, Naruto because he disliked seeing girls like his mistress cry, and the girls because the girl looked like a cute cat, "Why're you trying to save Erza after she betrayed us?! Jellal is the one that saved us, helped us build this tower for something better than what we did before!"

Inhaling deeply, Naruto spoke, "Because there are times in which holding a grudge becomes meaningless." He took on a calm demeanor, "You saw how Erza acted when you appeared, didn't you? Do you think that's a woman who'd have tried to hurt you willingly? And what're you talking about this tower?"

The girl, Millianna she said was her name, told them of the tower. She spoke of how she used to be a slave with Erza to build the tower by horrible people, how Erza fought to free everyone and even a captured Jellal, and how apparently she betrayed them. Lucy didn't need to put two and two together when she heard of how the one named Jellal proclaimed Erza was a traitor after she tried to free him and save others.

"So… this Jellal is at the top of the building?" she had a frown on her face that showed a burning determination, and Millianna could only nod, which made Lucy slam a fist to her palm, "Then when I see him, I'm introducing him to my Lucy Punch!"

"After I have some words with him about how to treat a lady as a proper gentleman, please, princess." Naruto growled while adjusting his shades even as shadows covered his eyes. Juvia herself was silent, but there was a pillar of water behind her shuddering in violent and dangerous shapes crying for blood, to impale, cut and destroy the one named Jellal.

"Alright, we'll go save Erza." Lucy motioned to herself and Juvia, "Naruto, you go to that Jellal and give him more than a few words from me, got it?"

"You needn't even ask, princess." He bowed before disappearing in a blur of speed outside the room, running up the stairs with his eyes burning red behind his sunglasses, "A good butler always makes sure to take out the trash."

As he raced up the stairs he was met with a large muscular man who, for some reason, had what looked like a large owl mask over his head. Naruto was almost surprised when the man flew at him, opened his beak so wide it could have literally swallowed him whole, and almost did so. He was too angry to even be surprised, and thus all the owl managed to eat was a large log Naruto substituted himself with.

Once the owl man was defenseless, he was swiftly kicked through a wall down to the sea outside. Naruto kept running up, as he could feel more than his and the girls' presence in the tower he knew there had to be more guards, but he couldn't tell if one of them could be Jellal. He had the nagging feeling he could be at the top of the tower, but he was mad enough to take out his anger with any good sent his way.

Upon nearing the doors to what he assumed was the main room at the top of the tower, he stopped when confronted by a woman with a long pink mane in a traditional kimono holding a long katana. She merely chuckled when eyeing him, "You look like one of those host boy mages I've heard so much about, but I know you won't serve me a drink."

Naruto pulled off his shades, closing his eyes and keeping the red irises hidden, and cleaned them with a handkerchief, "I am a butler, I serve my mistress to make sure she is happy. One of her friends has been… to put it lightly, treated like garbage by who I assume is your boss behind that door." He put his shades back on, "Lady, if you dare stop me I shall throw all my good manners out the window."

"The name's Ikaruga, then. So you remember who kill-" she gasped mid-sentence when the blond disappeared in a flash of golden light, reappearing behind her to deliver a swift chop to the back of her neck that knocked her out cold.

He sighed as he held out an arm so she didn't fall on her face, "I really should go all out against women." After setting her down gently on the floor, and even putting his business coat over her to keep her from being cold, the butler rolled up his shirt's sleeves to his elbows and pocketed his sunglasses. His eyes were back to their calm blue, but someone knew the blond wanted blood.

"Let's ruin this asshole's day." Kurama was not a fan of manipulators, backstabbers or liars.

With a firm kick, Naruto burst the doors to the large office open to find a man with a tattooed face staring at him with a smug grin, "So you're one of Erza's friends, huh?"

"I assume you're Jellal, then." The blond merely took the hairband off his ponytail to groom his hair better, "I have half a mind to destroy this entire tower with you in it, but it's only because my lady and her friend are in it that I have to hold that thought for later."

Jellal merely smirked wider, "And what does the other half want? To beat me, save the girl and be a hero when you can't even realize what I plan to do or why it's-"

"Do I look like I care?" Naruto asked dryly once properly grooming his ponytail, and reaching into his pants to pull out a pair of black fingerless gloves he slid on quickly, "The moment you hurt someone to try to prove yourself to be in the right it's the moment you're proving to be a desperate man trying too hard to be in the right for his own gain."

Jellal narrowed his eyes, "You have no idea what kind of world I work for, what this tower will achieve. With it, I can create an utopia where-"

"Stop, I don't care." Naruto held a hand up to halt the tattooed mage's words, "I'm just going to start punching you, that's what the other half of my mind wants."

Growling enraged, Jellal leapt at the blond, dashing at high speeds to try to knock him out cold… barely registering that the butler's eyes turned golden. The instant he saw the whiskered man's eyes changing to look like a toad's, he was on the receiving end of a jolt counter. Naruto's arm slid around the tattooed mage's to nail him right in the face, cracking the nose while Jellal's fist flew over his shoulder.

"How did… you see…" Jellal tried to form words, but the blood pouring down his nostrils made it hard to breathe and speak properly. Rather than answering, Naruto disappeared in a cloud of smoke, alarming the corrupt mage, "Where are you?!" he started spinning around, trying to find him while looking all around the large room he used as an office and planned to use for Erza's sacrifice for his plans.

And then the ground shook under one of his feet, and he gasped when it just seemed to erupt with Naruto jumping out and upper-cutting him right in the jaw. Jellal soared through the air, his body paralyzed from the sudden shake his brain took with the punch. His eyes widened when seeing Naruto airborne, kicking him right in the gut further into the air… into another Naruto!

"U!" the first Naruto shouted as he passed Jellal to his clone, "ZU!" then he flew to a third, "MA!" the third passed him to a forth, "KI!" and he was met with the original who had one heel high above his head in the air, "NARUTO RENDAN!"

The moment Jellal's tattooed face was met with the heel and then introduced to the hard ground at lightning speeds with the force to crack the floor, Kurama cheered, "Haha! I never thought I'd say this, but man do I love that stupidly named move of yours!"

Naruto merely cracked his knuckles, observing Jellal get up with fury in his eyes, "Listen here, I will never care about why you're doing this, Jellal. I want you to know one thing, though: I will stop you, I will make sure you watch this tower and everything you worked for collapse. I will make those friends of yours see what kind of man you are; I will help Erza forget whatever you've done to her…"

Jellal roared, "Who do you think you are?!" he started zipping around the air, flying at insane speeds that only lightning could be compared to in order to try to make his moves unpredictable, "You who work for that useless mage, taking orders from a weakling, what do you think I've worked so hard for just to tell me you're going to destroy it?! You… you don't have any worth for the world I'm building, just like them!"

Images of Erza, the story Millianna told him, and memories of his life before meeting Lucy flashed through Naruto's eyes… making them burn with determination, "And…" Naruto continued, clutching a hand tightly into a fist as azure energy swirled around it before taking the form of a large shuriken around his fist, "I'll make sure they never cry again because of you!"

With hatred burning in his eyes, Jellal flew straight at Naruto to try to deliver the finishing blow, attempting to strike him from behind… only to see him turn around and face him. It was with a single punch, and a loud cry of "Rasenshuriken!" that Naruto punched Jellal directly in the face in a downwards swing… sending the mage crashing through the entire tower with a blue explosion!

On a lower floor, Lucy and Juvia had just managed to survive the attack from a strange man with a long black mane that tried to turn the latter into a slave. Thankfully, Aquarius did her job well, but they were shocked when feeling the entire building shake before seeing a blue haired man with a tattooed face crash through the ceiling and then the floor. They watched him falling down to the bottom until he hit bedrock.

There, on the floor, beaten and with his eyes rolling to the back of his skull, Jellal tried to ask something, "What… kind of monster… is he?"

Atop the tower, Naruto merely took a deep sigh before putting his shades back on, "Hmm…"

Kurama grew worried, "What's next? Will you keep beating his ass into submission, kill him, or-"

"Spaghetti sounds lovely for the princess' dinner."

"Take this more seriously!"

 **XXXXXX**

And that's my rap!

I seriously don't know how else to continue this fic and I feel I did a good enough job already with the first chapter, but I still made this for the fun. I know that hype Naruto is overdone but, quite frankly, it's one of those guilty pleasures I have at times. And yes, you can see I dislike Jellal. Seriously, any guy who says he will make a perfect utopia sacrificing someone who used to be his best friend deserves something bad.

I'll leave up to your imaginations what may as well happen. I know it's a dick move to leave so many loose ends but, quite frankly, it may be better that way to give this some closure and keep your imagination sharp. Either that or I'm a lazy asshole. As you can see I didn't give much of a fuck about making a coherent story, I just wrote what first came to mind to have some fun, and I had a blast.

Swordslinger out!


End file.
